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Posted by: Unique | 2010/08/16

I HATE my degree

Now I can finally say it. I really hate my degree. I hated since first year of university. i chose it cos I didn''t have cash and the bursary people told me that''s the only degree they we funding that year. I had a choice of either taking it or going back home and sit until I get another bursary. I chose to take it. Hated first year, hated vacation work, hated it when I started working. I had to continue working cos I had ''work back'' the bursary money. I changed jobs often - enjoy the new role for a year or so but after a while it comes back to the same thing. I commited to finish debts and get out of this thing. Unfortunately by the time I finished I was in a role where I was happy. In that gap we had to move, my car was old and guesse what I have debt again. I also have a family now so it''s difficult to just walk out. Fortunately I''m good with money - I have only the necesary debt - car &  house. Unfortunately they take so long to pay of.

To sum up:
- I know I''m wasted here. I feel there has to be more to life. I could be contributing a lot more in another area. I feel I''m a desting for much higher things than this. I feel if I were to die today I would have really wasted my self- in this career
-This is a scarce skill so it pays well. Making people think I''m crazy for wanting to quit. It was also a difficult major (varsity) so when I started questioning my future in this area I was told you can''t pass THAT if you hate it. I think i passed I''m naturally a commited person.
-Trying to move around the company has been impossible ''cos I''m told "  we can''t afford to loose scarce skills" .
-I run a small business that I enjoy but it requires a lot more physical work without equivalent financial reward. i want to grow to something really good.
- i feel my future is really in entrepreneurship or something creative exciting &  fun. I want to enjoy my work and contribute to the economic development of this country.

-I''m considering doing a masters in entrepreneurship...worried about time - I still have to work, have kids &  a small buss.

Why does have to be so difficult. I can only pay off my current responsibilities in 5 years time - THAT IS TOO LONG!



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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm puzzled by your message, and the false sense of inevitability in it.
For instance, you assumed the only possibility in life is to get a bursary. And otherwise to sit at home twiddling your thumbs and waiting for one. Not so. Many people over the years have chosen, for instance, to go straight to work, earning as much as they could so as to be able to afford the courses of their choice and gain life and work experience ( ANY job can be useful to you if you learn from it rather than just grumbling ).
And you have made choices, very understandable ones, but not inevitable ones.
Some of us spent our years at university working in the vacations, eating mostly what one could buy discounted as stale when shops sold out at the end of the week, rarely drinking because we couldnt afford it, walking or bussing when we had some cash, rather than even dreaming of getting a car. We rented cheap accomodation without imagining buying a house, and took great care not to have children - until we were established in o ur career and could really afford it. Its possible.
I am still surprised ( I was a Deputy Dean for a while ) when a student complains of serious financial problems, and grumbles about how had it is to afford a skiing holiday or trip to Mauritius.
In your message I hear a lot about what you hate or at least don't want, and still have no clear idea what it is you like or want.
There's a curious sense of dissatisfaction, such as when you say : " Unfortunately by the time I finished I was in a role where I was happy." Unfortunate to be happy ?
You speak of having a scarce skill that pays well ( whatever it is ) yet you apparently hate this skill, and have already spent or committed whatever it pays.
YOu apparently already run some small business in your spare time - isn't this where you can do the creative and entrepreneurial stuff you want ?
Its not easy, but it's possible.
Yes, only an idiot would tell you it's easy. Why does it have to be so hard ? Well, if it were really easy, absolutely everybody would do it, and there's be no sense of achievement, and very little profit, financially or emotionally.

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2010/08/16

Good luck. I sometimes get the " oh you''re so lucky"  comments when I leave at lunchtime but when I point out that at the end of every month I only get 5/8ths of the salary people quickly back off.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Unique | 2010/08/16

I''m psyching myself to see it as something I have to do in order to have some secure assets and get some seed cash for my entrepreneural stuff. I don''t know if i can psych myself for 5 years though - hopefull the small business can help make this shorter. I''ll wait a while then propose a shorter week - I don''t want my collegues to feel like I''m getting special treatment. I just go a move to different department (WITHIN THE SAME FIELD!!!) approved.

Reply to Unique
Posted by: Maria | 2010/08/16

What is it that you do?

Would it be possible to negotiate a shorter work week with your employer, so that you have more time to devote to your business or further studies? It might mean a drop in income but perhaps this will be worth it for your sanity and happiness. If your skills are so scarce then you probably have a fair bit of leverage.

I quite understand the dilemma of being stuck in a well paying job that you can''t stand, I''m also there. I try and see my job as an enabler - it allows me to pay for the things I want and like. I negotiated from 42 hours to 35 hours a week last year and while we were very worried about the financial impact it worked out.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/16

I'm puzzled by your message, and the false sense of inevitability in it.
For instance, you assumed the only possibility in life is to get a bursary. And otherwise to sit at home twiddling your thumbs and waiting for one. Not so. Many people over the years have chosen, for instance, to go straight to work, earning as much as they could so as to be able to afford the courses of their choice and gain life and work experience ( ANY job can be useful to you if you learn from it rather than just grumbling ).
And you have made choices, very understandable ones, but not inevitable ones.
Some of us spent our years at university working in the vacations, eating mostly what one could buy discounted as stale when shops sold out at the end of the week, rarely drinking because we couldnt afford it, walking or bussing when we had some cash, rather than even dreaming of getting a car. We rented cheap accomodation without imagining buying a house, and took great care not to have children - until we were established in o ur career and could really afford it. Its possible.
I am still surprised ( I was a Deputy Dean for a while ) when a student complains of serious financial problems, and grumbles about how had it is to afford a skiing holiday or trip to Mauritius.
In your message I hear a lot about what you hate or at least don't want, and still have no clear idea what it is you like or want.
There's a curious sense of dissatisfaction, such as when you say : " Unfortunately by the time I finished I was in a role where I was happy." Unfortunate to be happy ?
You speak of having a scarce skill that pays well ( whatever it is ) yet you apparently hate this skill, and have already spent or committed whatever it pays.
YOu apparently already run some small business in your spare time - isn't this where you can do the creative and entrepreneurial stuff you want ?
Its not easy, but it's possible.
Yes, only an idiot would tell you it's easy. Why does it have to be so hard ? Well, if it were really easy, absolutely everybody would do it, and there's be no sense of achievement, and very little profit, financially or emotionally.

Reply to cybershrink

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