Our expert says:
Sex and sexual responses are really a individual matter – some people do it more than once and for others once a week is ok. The fact that you are experiencing pain during intercourse and are not enjoying it is more of a concern – especially in the light that you are contemplating marriage. Furthermore lack of lubrication and pain often goes hand in hand and it is often a vicious circle – the more pain you have the less lubrication and the more you do not like to have sexual intercourse that contribute again to the likelihood of experiencing pain next time round. I strongly suggest that you seek professional guidance from a psychologist/medical doctor to address this matter. It might be that you need more foreplay before penetration – you are not relaxed enough. Furthermore extra lubrication – artificial lubrication could assist with the lack of natural lubrication. It might also be valuable for you to explore “kegel exercises” – you can google it. Kegel exercises are focused on strengthening and gaining control, over your PC muscles. The PC muscles are involved with the contractions around the vagina as well as the control of bowels, flatulent and urination. Most of the times these muscles are involuntary, but with the right exercises you can gain voluntary control over them, that could minimize the pain during sex. It might be helpful for you to visit our website – www.sexualhealth.co.za where you could read a bit about pain during intercourse. You are also welcome to contact our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted to get in touch with a therapist as close a possible to you. It is definitely a strong recommendation for you and your future husband to seek couple counseling with regards this matter. Sex will be part of your relationship for many years and it should not have to be filled with anxiety and stress as that will negatively impact on your relationship in the long run.
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