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Question
Posted by: Gareth | 2011-10-24

I got sick

Dear CS
Is it possible to get physically ill because you fear that someone has left you? I do not want to live without her. She asked to see me the other night and I was so afraid that she would tell me that she never wants to see me again, I couldnt meet her because I felt so ill. I drank too much over the weekend and when she didnt answer my call on Saturday night, I called her friend to find out what they were up to. She was home studying with her phone off. Last night she spoke to me for two hours but I still think that she wants to leave me. I cannot give her what she wants. I am 42 years old and have nothoing to offer her. She has a house, a job she''s happy in, travel on the cards, good friends. What does she want with me? We''ve known each other for over 20 years. She has seen me drunk while we were''nt involved but now I always stay sober when I''m with her since we''ve been lovers. She hates that I drink though and doesnt want it part of her life. I still dont think she wants me, she probably just wants to be friendly. She says she loves me although it is painful. I asked her last night if she''d go for counselling but she doesnt have time now. She told me to try to sort myself out but I dont see the purpose if she''s not going to be with me. I''ll just go back to drinking.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Gosh, but you have low self-esteem and self-confidence, and that'd put off any woman. See a good psychologist / counsellor for CBT-style counselling, to sort out this and your bad habit of abusing alcohol. That would help you to become more confident and competent socially, less miserable and self-defeating, whether or not it helps this specific relationshipm and as a bonus it would render you better able to at least remain a good friend with her, and maybe more.
She really isn't the only person on earth with whom you could have a really happy relationship, but being too needy could chase away almost anyone.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Real Man | 2011-10-24

Sorry, meant post 846

Reply to Real Man
Posted by: Real Man | 2011-10-24

In post 847 she has told you not to call her again.
Pull yourself together and move on with dignity.........please!

Reply to Real Man
Posted by: Gareth | 2011-10-24

There are so many guys who always wanted to be with her and still do. Professional men where she works and she meets lots of people allthe time while I''m in a deadend job but she respects the work that I do. She says she enjoys our times together and makes me feel valued which my first wife never did.She knew me before and throughout my marriage. I chose the other woman back then because I felt C was too career-orientated to be a good wife and mother but she has proven me wrong. She is good at everything. How can she love me? The other women interested in me do not compare to her though there are some.

Reply to Gareth
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-10-24

Gosh, but you have low self-esteem and self-confidence, and that'd put off any woman. See a good psychologist / counsellor for CBT-style counselling, to sort out this and your bad habit of abusing alcohol. That would help you to become more confident and competent socially, less miserable and self-defeating, whether or not it helps this specific relationshipm and as a bonus it would render you better able to at least remain a good friend with her, and maybe more.
She really isn't the only person on earth with whom you could have a really happy relationship, but being too needy could chase away almost anyone.

Reply to cybershrink

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