Our expert says:
Gosh, but you have low self-esteem and self-confidence, and that'd put off any woman. See a good psychologist / counsellor for CBT-style counselling, to sort out this and your bad habit of abusing alcohol. That would help you to become more confident and competent socially, less miserable and self-defeating, whether or not it helps this specific relationshipm and as a bonus it would render you better able to at least remain a good friend with her, and maybe more.
She really isn't the only person on earth with whom you could have a really happy relationship, but being too needy could chase away almost anyone.
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