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Question
Posted by: Happy | 2012-03-15

I feel so hopeless

I feel so down today. It’ s my birthday on Saturday, and I have no friends to share it with. I’ ve tried making friends, I don’ t know what I do wrong. I’ m a nice person, full of compliments to people, not the quickest thinker, but I’ m kind and considerate, etc. My last group of friends backstabbed me (it was a whole set up, I don’ t know why they did that to me). My boyfriends and I had a huge fight this morning where he said it’ s over, he’ s going to move out as soon as he gets his car back from the mechanic, I earn enough money to survive on my own (I don’ t, I have more expenses than him and do rely on his share of the rent), he hates me, he’ s wasted 7 years on me, how many girls could he have had in that time, he spends all his time thinking if I’ m talking to other guys, how many other guys have I been with, etc. etc. etc. I don’ t know what to do. He doesn’ t trust me, and yes I broke his trust right at the beginning of the relationship, but that was 7 years ago, I was a different person in a really bad place in my life and he mustn’ t act like he is so innocent either.

I’ m so SAD. My boyfriend has said those things before, but he’ s never actually left and it is far and few that he says them. I’ ve been fighting with him because I got him a voucher to do extreme sports for Christmas and he doesn’ t want to use it. He refuses to go, says I must just get my money back (which I can’ t, I’ ve already claimed the voucher because we actually went a few weeks ago but there was a mix up with the booking). I’ ve been upset with him for that, because I’ ve made plenty of sacrifices for him (staying home on the weekends so he can go out with his friends) and he doesn’ t want to do this one thing for me (he complains we never do anything). And of course, when we try talk about my feelings it ends up with him pitying himself and me telling him, “ no you’ re not this, no you’ re not that, etc.” . My feelings gets tossed out the window, or else he says I’ m nagging.

I just don’ t know what to do. We’ ve been talking about getting married and having kids and all that, now he’ s acting like I’ m the worst thing in the world.

It''s a never ending saga with him. He''s not always an a-hole, but he''s always self pitying and then I think he turns it on me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm sure you're a really nice person. Sit down and review your expenses - isn't there a way to reduce your expenses, so you can afford to get a place on your own ? COuld you share a / the place with someone from work ?
Of course any breakup is upsetting, but frankly he doesn't sound like much of a loss. Feeling you have to stay home so he can go out with his friends, doesnt sound like a great relationship. Sounds like he exploits your sense of needines, and manipulats you. See a personal counsellor and sort yourself out, and regain your independence, and the counsellor can also help you gain confidence to get to know and relate to nicer people

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: dollar | 2012-03-15

Send me your email adress and we will take it from there as i will be free on saturday.

Reply to dollar
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-03-15

I'm sure you're a really nice person. Sit down and review your expenses - isn't there a way to reduce your expenses, so you can afford to get a place on your own ? COuld you share a / the place with someone from work ?
Of course any breakup is upsetting, but frankly he doesn't sound like much of a loss. Feeling you have to stay home so he can go out with his friends, doesnt sound like a great relationship. Sounds like he exploits your sense of needines, and manipulats you. See a personal counsellor and sort yourself out, and regain your independence, and the counsellor can also help you gain confidence to get to know and relate to nicer people

Reply to cybershrink

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