Our expert says:
Again, this is mainly a question of etiquette --- I have known of weddings where the mother, for instance, took the daughter to church and played the father's role in the ceremony --- for one reason or another in many families there is no "father" available for that role. And I always felt uneasy about the component in the Christian ceremony about "Who giveth this woman... " !
No need at all to invite a hateful and apparently hate-filled brother, and any senior member of your family should be fine. If you are looking after your mother, that's fine. If he isn't , he should look after his own home, and not comment on how you choose to be more responsible.
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