Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-07-20

I feel so bad about myself

I feel so bad about myself I am just about to get married in December and has no one to take me out to church a brother or a father.

My father passed on in 2006 and do have a brother but he hates me very much tells neighbours and other people that I want to take the house just because I am a responsible person I always renovate ate home and my mother appreciates that.

Now I have a problem he must take me to church when I marry but says he wants nothing to do with me because I am a dog.
I have decided to ask one of the relatives to occupy his space I dont know whether this is right or wrong. Whatever I buy he breaks it.

Please assist to solve this problem.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Again, this is mainly a question of etiquette --- I have known of weddings where the mother, for instance, took the daughter to church and played the father's role in the ceremony --- for one reason or another in many families there is no "father" available for that role. And I always felt uneasy about the component in the Christian ceremony about "Who giveth this woman... " !
No need at all to invite a hateful and apparently hate-filled brother, and any senior member of your family should be fine. If you are looking after your mother, that's fine. If he isn't , he should look after his own home, and not comment on how you choose to be more responsible.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Really | 2009-07-20

It' s sad when the only family we have seems not to care about our happiness and joy.... it' s not the end of the world and you don' t have to feel guilty about anything.. he is the one that does not want to be a part of your life so why make him.

I know of a lot of people who got married even without their parent' s blessings... It may not be a nice feeling but sometimes, it' s inevitable and unfortunately we have to deal with it.

Don' t you have uncles or cousins that can play his role? If I were in your shoes and I didn' t have a male relative, I would ask a close older male family friend, even your father' s close male friends can play the role..... I DON' T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH YOUR MOTHER GIVING YOU AWAY!!! Afterall she is your mother!

Just a thought.

All the best

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