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Question
Posted by: Etienne | 2010-05-02

I feel like my heart''s been ripped out of my chest!

I''m only allowed access for about three hours a week (on a Sunday) to spend time with my daughter. Usually it''s sad for me when I have to leave, but today was the cherry on top. She hardly ever calls me " pappa" , usually by my first name as taught by my ex. But today, when I said my goodbye, my daughter (2 yrs) looked up at me and said " nee pappa, moenie gaan nie, pappa moet by my bly"  & mdash  (no dad, don''t go, you must stay with me...). Out of nowhere without warning, I burst into tears.
Like I''m sitting here now, typing this message, I don''t know how to handle this intense yearning to see my child. This is going to drive me insane, to death.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Was that amount and timin of access decided by the court ? If so, it can be enforced, if not, it would be wise to get a court to reconsider the whole issue of ccess. Your ex is behaving badly - I wish there were penalties for any parent who involves their children in warfare with their ex. UNless you have previously behaved very badly indeed ( towards the child - access should never be based on the quarrels between the ex-partners ) you should be allowed more access, and a court may also ask your ex to stop this manipulation of the child - the court is required to make decisions on the basis of whatever is best for the child, not on what the other ( or father ) wants

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: me | 2010-05-03

she does not know what she is doing to the child. My sister child see his daddy once every six weeks, if he is lucky. And only because he does not care to see him more often. He can see him at any time however does not want to. It is not him that need to explain to a 4 year old why daddy does not come and visit! Or say he is comming and then need to look at his face when daddy does not show up.

Just keep on being a great father. Then you will not be able to be denied access. She will soon realise that she need your support with the child.

Reply to me
Posted by: Maria | 2010-05-03

Why do you have so little access?

Reply to Maria
Posted by: anon | 2010-05-03

Im so sorry, your ex is definatley trying to undermine you with your daughter, telling her to call you by your name is totaly wrong...very manipulative!

Can you not apply to the court and get to see you daughter more regularly?

Reply to anon
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-05-03

Was that amount and timin of access decided by the court ? If so, it can be enforced, if not, it would be wise to get a court to reconsider the whole issue of ccess. Your ex is behaving badly - I wish there were penalties for any parent who involves their children in warfare with their ex. UNless you have previously behaved very badly indeed ( towards the child - access should never be based on the quarrels between the ex-partners ) you should be allowed more access, and a court may also ask your ex to stop this manipulation of the child - the court is required to make decisions on the basis of whatever is best for the child, not on what the other ( or father ) wants

Reply to cybershrink

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