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Posted by: biz | 2011-06-24

I feel impotent for going to couple'' counselling

Had long problems with my gf and last week i decided to end it. in a nutshell, we were arguing and she kicked me out of her house......and since we were in a car at the time I kicked her out of my car. Is not the kicking her that bothers me, is the way i did it. I opened the door and screamed get the hell outta my car, she believes I pushed her out. Either way - I am so frustrated in this things it is changing me inside, I am angrier ....the last time she frustrated me this much i broke a class.

Realising the person I was turning into, I decided to end it. It is not the person I wished to become nor the kind of boyfriend or husband i thought i will be. the thing is i have in the past suggested solutions , couple''s counseling and so forth, however she was just not that interested.

I think she could sense I wanted out, she suggested we go for counselling. I have scheduled us a session but inside i don''t think it will help. I am scared of the person I am turning in to, that i think the best thing is to end it. Perhaps I should mentioned that I love her dearly , we just can''t seem to work no matter how understanding i have tried to be.

Counselling, i am also nervous about this counselling. i want it to work, but i am rather embarrased by it. I wonder if it will really work. Never thought i could be kicked out of anyone'' house before, I suppose that is just my conscious looking to justify my action, but i do feel like kind of impotent with this counseling biz

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its probably good that you have realized that whatever is not right within this relationship, it has included you starting to become the sort of person you don't want to be, and it is wise to end it. HOW you have both acted in ending it is unfortunate, and unhlpful.
But don't be nervous about counselling. As Maria says, in any form of counselling you have to be frank with yourself and the counsellor ( the only person you can cheat within counselling is yourself ). There's no need to be embarrassed by facing up to whatever has been going wrong, as it is a setting within which you can learn from these events and find better ways of handling such problems in the future. You are only "impotent" within counselling situations if you insist on being so. Properly used, these ae opportunities for empowerment and wisdom, and who of us doesn't need more of both of those ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-06-25

Its probably good that you have realized that whatever is not right within this relationship, it has included you starting to become the sort of person you don't want to be, and it is wise to end it. HOW you have both acted in ending it is unfortunate, and unhlpful.
But don't be nervous about counselling. As Maria says, in any form of counselling you have to be frank with yourself and the counsellor ( the only person you can cheat within counselling is yourself ). There's no need to be embarrassed by facing up to whatever has been going wrong, as it is a setting within which you can learn from these events and find better ways of handling such problems in the future. You are only "impotent" within counselling situations if you insist on being so. Properly used, these ae opportunities for empowerment and wisdom, and who of us doesn't need more of both of those ?

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Maria | 2011-06-24

Counselling works best if you are prepared to be brutally honest with yourself and the counsellor. Even if it doesn''t save your relationship, it could help you learn from whatever mistakes you might have made, so that you can avoid them in future relationships.

Reply to Maria

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