Our expert says:
Ageing and Sexuality expert
You got to reclaim your vagina:) It has been traumatised, both physically and emotionally. You may well have developed a secondary vaginismus and the longer you leave it, the worse it becomes. Great news that you are having this fantastical sex life - I wonder why you keeping it all for yourself?? Is it fear of pain with your man? is it because you think penetration is expected? Or is your man's technique not as exciting as yours?
don't linger over the past- you are forever different - both your body and your mind. You are a Mom, your body needs different forms of pleasure. Do not feel like a failure as you are in this new place- it will make you further avoidant as you beat yourself up,
Read and work my book Pillowbook (Oshun 2007) - its a great, simple program to get women sexed up again. I suggest that you and your boyfriend be sexual with the understanding that for now - no penetration - only massage, oral play, body rubs, watching porn together, playing with sex toys. Get fun and funky- the longer you avoid sex the more difficult it is to get into it again. Now go play:) -
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