Posted by: Jane | 2008-12-18

I feel cheap

I' m 19 years old with good morals and I was always the one to say I will only loose my virginity to my husband once we are married. I slept with my ex a year ago and I have been sleeping with my current bf for a year now. He' s been rejecting me for 2 and a half months now due to his morals and the quilt that he slept with me. I feel rejected and I know that his excuse is with all honesty- its just that I really want to. What do I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Jane
the dilemma that you now face and the inner conflict that has sparked guilt in you is related to your own moral concept of being a virgin .Since you still have a firm belief in your beliefs i have no doubt that you will now rekindle your belief in yourself and save yourself for your wedding day with the partner you choose,.

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Our users say:
Posted by: I believe | 2008-12-19

Egg, where do u get that family that u are watching tv wih, is it not from sex? Believe it or not sex plays a mojor role in a relationship/marriage...If u look at couple who hold hands at the mall, who smile when they talk to each other,its all because things are going well in the bed room hence they feel close to each other and everything thing else just falls into place...

Reply to I believe
Posted by: ? | 2008-12-19

I agree with Phil. Sex is important. I married someone with whom I am very compatible with. We get along great, have fun, enjoy doing things together etc. But we never had sex b4 marriage.

Once we got married, our sexual compatibility has been on different ends. He wants less, I want more. It ahs led to many fights, depressing moments, me feeling less worthy and unsexy, lost my self confidence. When we go out we look like a bored couple...and it' s all because of the sex!

So I agree with both of you. Sex is just as important as all the other things.

Reply to ?
Posted by: Egg | 2008-12-19

Phil you are a egg! You need a even bigger wake up call! Who are you to say that you have to sleep together before marriage to see if you are compatible! That is the biggest load of nonsense I have ever heard! If that is youre mentallity than you will only marry for sex! Marriage and love has got NOTHING to do with sex! You donty have sex when you are watching TV with you family! You dont have sex when you are having a braai with friend! Youre not having sex when you are in the mall! Come on bud... That is where the other factors that a relationship is actually about comes into play! Not your silly theory!

What you actually are saying is that YOU will meet someone and fall in love with them! And then have sex with them... Sex is bad! No more love! Grow up son!

Reply to Egg
Posted by: pHIL | 2008-12-19

Saint, you need a wake up call. In essence one needs to find out if you are compatible with another person. A hell of a lot of marriages fail because virgins get married and then they aren' t sexually compatble in a few years. Yes sex is a VERY big part of any loving relationship, but sometimes love is not ebough. If your sex life isn' t a happy one, it will cause problems. I don' t say sleep with every person you go out with. But most defiantely you will sleep with the people that you really consider to be potential life partners, and one of the things that needs to be tested is sexuall compatibilty.

Reply to pHIL
Posted by: Saint | 2008-12-19

It all depends! If the morals that he is talking about has anything to do with his religion that I will advise you to accept it! Both of you made mistakes! Sex before marriage should be avoided by all times! Sex was made by God to be enjoyed in marriage! But if you really confess to your sins God will forgive you!

That might be what he did because he realized that it was wrong! So if you really love him I would suggest that you respect his decision! Don' t go and something silly like cheating or leaving him because real love is love without sex!

Good luck to the both of you!



Reply to Saint
Posted by: koos | 2008-12-18

get somebody who will!

Reply to koos

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