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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2010/05/19

I don''t know if I want him anymore

I have been married to my husband for almost four years now, we got married when I was 20 and he was 25. We have a daughter of 20 months as well. The problem is that my husband has become a very grumpy negative ''misluk'' man since we haven''t been doing too well with money. I have tried to speak to him about it but most of the time he denies that he treats me badly and is in a bad mood all the time and he says he is just stressed. It has become very difficult for me to get close to him but all he wants is for me to be around him which I find difficult because of his moods. I have also almost lost any feeling of wanting to be sexual with him and he doesn''t turn me on anymore at all. I am not sure what to do because sometimes I feel I would be happier without him and sometimes I feel like I still love him and want to try. Also because of all this I have been starting to fantasise about other men.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I find this a really common type of problem these days - maybe because in economic hard times, more men feel deply stressed by money problems, and neglect their wives. And most men are bad at talking about their feelings and at dealing with emotional problems. I suppose this is what the marriage service means about "for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse" - it may help to rather try to help him involve you in dealing with the money problems, so at the least he feels the problem is shared, rather than trying to tackle it entirely on his own.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/05/19

I find this a really common type of problem these days - maybe because in economic hard times, more men feel deply stressed by money problems, and neglect their wives. And most men are bad at talking about their feelings and at dealing with emotional problems. I suppose this is what the marriage service means about "for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse" - it may help to rather try to help him involve you in dealing with the money problems, so at the least he feels the problem is shared, rather than trying to tackle it entirely on his own.

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