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Question
Posted by: cha | 2012/10/07

i dont know anymor

hi i am a 25 yr female i hav 1 child of 3 yrs , i am still with the father we have been dating for many yrs now. we also live together. Recently i have been feeling to go out with friend male an female mostly colleges and close friends , just going out maybe clubing and having drinks , i feel so boring people of my age is having fun with there lives but im just sitting at home evry single day its work home same story evryday, my boyfriend is a very boring person he dosn''t go out at all and he is a control freak and very jjealous, i also wonder will i be a bad mother he always threaten me that he wil take our child away from me so if i go out wil that make me a bad mother?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maintaining a good relationship and raising a good child isn't boring - its highly skilled and worthwhile. If you go out and just leave and ignore the child, that would be bad and your man would have good reason to complain. If you went out occasionally, with responsible friends, and having arranged it with him, maybe have them round to visit you and get to know him, that might work, but you'd need to discuss this with him, obviously. Can someone else, maybe in his or your family, babysit so you can BOTh go out together occasionally ?
And as Kedi wisely says, who cares what you THINK other people your age may be doing ? Many of them are being foolish, getting into trouble, or just being miswerable without telling you. They're not worth imitating.
Why not embrace your role as a mother, and get to know other mothers of similar age children, and meet with them during the day or weekends ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ginger | 2012/10/08

Kedi, gosh old are you? Aand in which world do u live in? Anyways, Cha going out is healthy &  therefore necessary, try it at least once a month - i''m 28 yrs old &  have a 4 year old &  I do it, ....u know just going out dancing with the girls.....let ur hair loose -u''ll have to sit ur bf down &  try to make ihim understand tho.Ur life cannot revolve around ur bf &  ur child find a hobby, running, hiking, book club...ur mind will appreciate it

Reply to Ginger
Posted by: Kedi | 2012/10/08

Stop worrying about what people your age are doing. If they all ran through fire, would you too? You are now a mother and you need to face your responsibilities head on and look after your child. Your child did not ask to be born and then left at home while you go out drinking and clubbing.... come on now!

Who would you leave your precious child with while you are out jolling? Your boyfriend? You say he is a jealous control freak - do you think he will sit at home with the child while youre out? Think again! I would worry that he may do something to the child in revenge.

There are lots of things you can do during the day WITH your child. Grow up and face your situation - you are a mother now.

Reply to Kedi
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/10/08

Maintaining a good relationship and raising a good child isn't boring - its highly skilled and worthwhile. If you go out and just leave and ignore the child, that would be bad and your man would have good reason to complain. If you went out occasionally, with responsible friends, and having arranged it with him, maybe have them round to visit you and get to know him, that might work, but you'd need to discuss this with him, obviously. Can someone else, maybe in his or your family, babysit so you can BOTh go out together occasionally ?
And as Kedi wisely says, who cares what you THINK other people your age may be doing ? Many of them are being foolish, getting into trouble, or just being miswerable without telling you. They're not worth imitating.
Why not embrace your role as a mother, and get to know other mothers of similar age children, and meet with them during the day or weekends ?

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Diane | 2012/10/07

at your age its only healthy to get out. Tell him you are getting frustrated at home as your need to get out iwth your female friends. Tell him you are totally comitted to him and your child but will be a happier person if you can get out now and then. Invite him too, if he turns it down ..go out. perhaps not till3 in the morning or he will worry. within reasonable times so he feels secure. Or invite friends over for supper/picnic in the garden. (then he shouldnt get jealous!0 good lucl.

Reply to Diane

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