Our expert says:
Its sadly common, and still despicable, when people use children as weapons in bitter battles with former partners. If he is separated from the other woman, she might not like that, but it is how things are. It is unfair if she uses the child to try to make her father feel bad for not living with her mother.
Don't confront him ( people are far too keen, these days, on "confrontation" ) but sit down calmly and discuss this with him - let him know how you feel, and how the other woman's manipulations make you feel insecure and worried about the place your son will have in this family of yours with him.
He needs to speak kindly but firmly with the other woman and make it very clear that he is engaged to marry you and will NOT be returning to her, and that he does not want her to upset their daughter or to try to use her to try to make difficulties betwen you and him.
In turn, he needs to sit down calmly with the daughter and explain the situation to her - how he used to be with her mom, and how there are good reasons why he is not with her now and will not be with her again. But that she, the girl, is his daughter, and that he loves her very much, and will see her as much as he can. And he needs to explain that there is now another lady in his life who is important to him, and who he loves, and that he would like her to meet you some time, and your son, because he is planning to marry you and stay with you.
It's not petty to be concerned about this. If it is not dealt with now, it will remain a source of conflict and grief for all of you for the forseeable future
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.