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Question
Posted by: FIONA | 2010/08/24

I DON" T BLAME FIONA COYNE

I am a lonely woman of 35 years.
I am single and lonely for 8 years
I do not have friends
I have been living with HIV for the past 10 years
I sometimes get sick
My house was repossed
I was retrenched
I drive a skorokoro car
I work but all my money pay the loans and a townhouse that I am renting.
My ex just got married.

What more should I leave for

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Loneliness can certainly be very unpleasant, but it is remediable - you can join church groups, charities and NGO work, help people worse off than you - you keep active that way and meet a better type of person. There are surely HIV and related support groups you could join, where you could find friends with experience of some of the problems you are experiencing. Similarly the Anxietuy/Depression Support Group ( number on this page ).
You suffered financial misfortune, but that can gradually come right again. Your ex is ex, and should be totally ex - what he does should not matter to you.
As H says or implies, everything that troubles you can be remedied, and is greatly influenced by the attitude you choose to take towards it. Get help, and set things right, rather than just giving up.

None of us know anything about Fiona Coyne's life or her despair, and whether, as seems likely, she may have had an untreated depression, and drawn unreasonably severe conclusions from it

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

9
Our users say:
Posted by: R | 2010/08/26

it did rain I GOT RETRENCHED and"  Miss Coyne " got a offered a lesser position at least she still had a job...i needed a place to stay and she turned her back on me.. and she was supposed to be my friend theres no fckn sympathy here...and she prides herself in stealing peoples boyfriends says she likes the feeling of hurting others as she has been hurt in the past...she is a mean b!tch who deserves all shes getting,...LET IT RAIN!! LET IT HAIL HARD.

Reply to R
Posted by: Please | 2010/08/25

R and M&  M, please try to be sensitive, if u feel like u dont have something positive to say just keep quiet..This is life one day it might rain on u and how would u feel if people say nasty things to u then?

Reply to Please
Posted by: R | 2010/08/25

Sounds like someone i know WHO lives in Midrand was retrenched and offered a lesser position and her name starts with a D.PS: U Dont have friends cause u dont know how to be a friend

Reply to R
Posted by: Sympathetic | 2010/08/25

I don''t think you all should judge someone in this situation. Imagine you sit without a job an a sickness that is a huge drain on financial resources. Yes, it is good that you have a car (no matter how bad) and a house to live in, but, although I haven''t been in your situation, I can imagine how scary it would seem. It''s easy for someone who has the basic securities (job, health, etc) to sit in judgement of someone who''s stuck in this situation. But it is hard. I also totally understand where you''re ocming from about your ex getting married. Even if you maybe don''t want to be with him anymore, it still kinda sux when the person moves on before you do!

However, I agree with cybershrink - there are luckily some resources for you. Maybe if you join some kind of charity organisation, you may even find someone who could offer you a job, etc. Maybe also contact the south african depression &  anxiety support group. They can give you advice about getting help and maybe joining a support group of people with similar feelings of depression &  difficulty coping.

Don''t worry, sister: you have every right to feel down. But you also have every right to be happy - so try your best to go for it and do everything in your power to make your life more positive. Good luck!

Reply to Sympathetic
Posted by: XXX | 2010/08/24

M& M please try and be more constructive,sensitive and understanding.
Fiona,make the most of what you have got.Life is a beautiful thing and unfortunately rather short.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: FIONA | 2010/08/24

M& M pity will not take away my status and hard work is what I am doing even though I know I am about to die

Reply to FIONA
Posted by: M& M | 2010/08/24

This is life, stop complaining about everything,wanting pity.Work hard! Your ex just got married? What does that have to do with you?` Just move on and make something happen, mahn!!!!

Reply to M&amp M
Posted by: Happiness | 2010/08/24

Hi Fiona,
Now that you''ve listed your problems, suddenly I noticed something. They are all materialistic problems. They don''t define you, they say nothing about you as a person. We are not what we have or don''t have, we are not our health. We just give up our right to be when we start seeing ourselves as what we have.
Remember when we were children, all that mattered was the fact that the sun is shining and we can play till sun set? Rain meant playing in the rain and wind meant flying kites. Its simple things like being alive which make life worth living.

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/24

Loneliness can certainly be very unpleasant, but it is remediable - you can join church groups, charities and NGO work, help people worse off than you - you keep active that way and meet a better type of person. There are surely HIV and related support groups you could join, where you could find friends with experience of some of the problems you are experiencing. Similarly the Anxietuy/Depression Support Group ( number on this page ).
You suffered financial misfortune, but that can gradually come right again. Your ex is ex, and should be totally ex - what he does should not matter to you.
As H says or implies, everything that troubles you can be remedied, and is greatly influenced by the attitude you choose to take towards it. Get help, and set things right, rather than just giving up.

None of us know anything about Fiona Coyne's life or her despair, and whether, as seems likely, she may have had an untreated depression, and drawn unreasonably severe conclusions from it

Reply to cybershrink

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