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Question
Posted by: Isis | 2009/11/23

I DON' T LOVE MY MOM :-(

I don' t hate my mother. She' s a pastor and one of the sweetest women alive but i simply don' t love her and the guilt is killing me. I care about her alot but I can' t bring myself to love her.

How do I recover from the guilt. It' s making my whole life fall apart. PLEASE HELP ME.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Don't feel guilty, please. I have re-read the Constitution, and love of one's mother is strictly NOT compulsory. Usually it happens, but for a wide range of reasons, not always so. I wonder, too, what "love" means to you, in that you describe her as awfully sweet, and say you care deeply about her - how would "love " be different from this ?
And again, why are you feeling so dreadfully GUILTY about this ? It's not your fault. You are no withholding anything you naturally feel for her, not being unkind to her, and not deliberately making things this way. Has she noticed anything amiss ? If so, you could discuss it with her ; but if not, maybe there is much less wrong that you are assuming.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/11/23

Don't feel guilty, please. I have re-read the Constitution, and love of one's mother is strictly NOT compulsory. Usually it happens, but for a wide range of reasons, not always so. I wonder, too, what "love" means to you, in that you describe her as awfully sweet, and say you care deeply about her - how would "love " be different from this ?
And again, why are you feeling so dreadfully GUILTY about this ? It's not your fault. You are no withholding anything you naturally feel for her, not being unkind to her, and not deliberately making things this way. Has she noticed anything amiss ? If so, you could discuss it with her ; but if not, maybe there is much less wrong that you are assuming.

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