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Question
Posted by: thandiwe | 2010/10/28

I do not understand my husband

For the question posted on dated 19/10/2010 I still did not get the answer. After confronting my husband for always giving his daughter money and after I have found a paper of his budget mistakently showing that he is going to give 3500 to his daughter without giving us a cent in the house he has now suggested that he will give me, must I take the money or must I follow my pride because I have realised that he puts his daughter first and me last, pleas assist

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I am not aware of having not answered any question. And I think I have heard variations on this question from you several times in recent weeks or months.
Its unfortunate that you apparently married this man without realizing the priority he places on his daughter, but now that is just part of your reality and he's unlikely to change it.
Now, it seems you must choose between accepting a proposal from him about giving you some money for yourself and the house, but apparently you consider this a blow to your pride if you accept it ; or refusing the money, continuing to have more money problems, seeming to refuse to acept the basic idea of him contributing cash towards you and the household expenses, but feeling your pride is intact.
Non e of us can tell you what you must do about this - you need to decide, depending on what you value most, and on the likely short and long-term results and effects of each decision.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: juta | 2010/10/31

It is aboutr you getting some money as well? or you getting money because he is giving his daughter some of it. Do you have money problems - are you out of food or you need it for something or you just want it because some of it is going to his daughter? Do you know why the daughter needs R 3500? Is it not perhaps for a school project or something or something she needs - would you have a problem if he bought his daughter a car, what is this about money or communication? How were guys married in community or out? if in - I suppose it your money as well, if not - then it is his money &  and as long as he does his part in the family comntribution what he does with his change is his babe. I think you should really think about this and swallow your price because the man gave his daughter money....he could have given it to his ex wife...but surely there must be a reason and for as long as you don''t know the reason....you can''t make this about you.....if you are jelous - you are in for a tough ride, if i were you...i would chill - AND THINK TO MYSELF WHY DOES OUR DAUGHTER NEEDS SUCH A LARGE AMOUNT OF MONEY.....THE KEY IS OUR DAUGHTER, you are married.....you must practice our daughter and as soon as you get that right believe there will be a large amount of money coming your way too.

Reply to juta
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/10/28

I am not aware of having not answered any question. And I think I have heard variations on this question from you several times in recent weeks or months.
Its unfortunate that you apparently married this man without realizing the priority he places on his daughter, but now that is just part of your reality and he's unlikely to change it.
Now, it seems you must choose between accepting a proposal from him about giving you some money for yourself and the house, but apparently you consider this a blow to your pride if you accept it ; or refusing the money, continuing to have more money problems, seeming to refuse to acept the basic idea of him contributing cash towards you and the household expenses, but feeling your pride is intact.
Non e of us can tell you what you must do about this - you need to decide, depending on what you value most, and on the likely short and long-term results and effects of each decision.

Reply to cybershrink

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