Our expert says:
any comments, jcat ?
It sounds most odd, is you are SA based, for you to have been allowed to take your cat to France with you. Maybe within Europe ? For a variety of reasons, international travel with cars and dogs is very difficult to achieve.
Anyhow, I fully understand your great attachment to and love for your cat --- such relationships are very important to us. Fortunately, though cats also get very attached to us, they are, I think, I bit more realistic and philosophical that we are, and so long as they're still treated with kindness and well fed, maybe they adjust better to losing us than vice versa. They do seem to understand some situations --- even recognizing the signs that you're going to go out shopping. I understand that you feel guilty that somehow your leaving her deprived her o some forms of happiness she might have enjoyed with you. But you took the very important step of arranging for her to be adopted by a new caring family, rather than abandoning her, as tragically many people do, and she would adjust to the new way of life. I suspect your bad feelings are compounded by WHY you gave her for adoption --- not only the promise of a new job, but for the sake of a boyfriend who proved to be fickle and faithless, so the grand reasons you thought balanced the grief of giving her away, proved to be far less than you expected.
Recognize that these feelings of guilt are reasonable, but allowing them to be so lasting and intractable, is unreasonable --- and they do not in any way benefit the cat ! I don't know what you plan for your future. Maybe if you re-visit your home country, you could re-visit the cat ; but don't be upset if she is wary of you and not eager to return to her previous cuddlesome relationship --- she has almost cerainly moved on more successfully than you have
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