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Question
Posted by: BadWife | 2011-01-06

I cheated :(

I need advise. I cheated on my husband and I wont go into the reasons as they moot at this point. We both messed up badly and we both trying to save our marriage. I have been very open and honest about everything.

How do I help him get over his bad days?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There are no good reasons for cheating, though many situations in which a person may persuade themselves that it isjustified. If you both feel you mesed up and BOTH want to save the marriage, this is promising - see a marriage counsellor together and work with expert help.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: I Cheated to | 2011-01-07

I met my husband when I was 16. married by 20 had a child by 21. I never saw other men, then i cheated on him when i was 25. It was terrible and wrong. No excuses. But it lasted for 3 months. Today 8 years later nobody but me and the man knows. I have never looked at another man since. My skeleton in my closet is a bit bigger. I got pregnant during this period and i have no idea whose kid it is. My husband is crazy about him, how can I I ever tell? This is a skeleton I will have to go to the grave with. i''m scared od blood types and stuff like that. How can I ever mess up my kids life by telling?

Reply to I Cheated to
Posted by: Wise Owl | 2011-01-06

I guess we are all different but personally I could NEVER forgive or forget. Infidelity is an absolute deal breaker. If your man can then he must really love you. I could just never get it out my mind. Too horrible to contemplate.

Reply to Wise Owl
Posted by: Ella | 2011-01-06

I understand what you say. Your marriage is worth fighting for and especially so if you have kids. Hopefully at the end of this long and painful road your marriage will be stronger. It is possible.

Reply to Ella
Posted by: whena | 2011-01-06

I am a husband who were cheated on. For me knowing the details were better than not knowing and imagining

Reply to whena
Posted by: BadWife | 2011-01-06

Thanks you.

Ella, he asked me for all the details as he thought not knowing and letting his imagination was worse than the truth. He seems to be coping better with knowing.

Reply to BadWife
Posted by: Ella | 2011-01-06

Its bad and the trust has been broken amongst many other things but that you know. Only option is to go for serious councelling with full commitment to saving your marriage if that is what you both want.
Some might disagree with me but I don''t think you should reveal too many gory details about the affair to your husband - it only hurts more and deeper if you do and it only makes you feel better for being ''honest''.

Reply to Ella
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-01-06

There are no good reasons for cheating, though many situations in which a person may persuade themselves that it isjustified. If you both feel you mesed up and BOTH want to save the marriage, this is promising - see a marriage counsellor together and work with expert help.

Reply to cybershrink

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