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Question
Posted by: Lolo | 2011/04/28

I cant decide! now hv a headache!

hi

i got engaged to fiance in 2009 and now we are expecting our first baby which we are due anytime, now the problem is fiance has not paid lobola in full and i must make a decision whether i will have to stay with parents when the baby is born till he finish lobola or should i move in with him so that he can help me take care of our child.

what do you think is best decision to make?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Are you free to entirely make up your own mind about this ? ( and even in this case, don't you need to discuss the options with your parents, who would wish to be involved and could probably be really helpful. If you feel better guided by the tradions, don't you really need to discuss it with your parents, and they with his parents ? There will presumably be decisions needed as to how he spends what he can afford, on paying off the rest of the lobola versus maintenance for your expenses and caring for the child.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2011/04/28

I don''t think that we can tell you what the best decision for you would be. There are just far too many things about you that we don''t know.

What I would suggest, is that you make a list of all the good things if you stay with your parents and good things if you move in with him. Then make a list of the bad things if you stay with your parents and bad things if you move in with him. You should be able to make the best decision by comparing the lists.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/04/28

Are you free to entirely make up your own mind about this ? ( and even in this case, don't you need to discuss the options with your parents, who would wish to be involved and could probably be really helpful. If you feel better guided by the tradions, don't you really need to discuss it with your parents, and they with his parents ? There will presumably be decisions needed as to how he spends what he can afford, on paying off the rest of the lobola versus maintenance for your expenses and caring for the child.

Reply to cybershrink

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