Our expert says:
Are you free to entirely make up your own mind about this ? ( and even in this case, don't you need to discuss the options with your parents, who would wish to be involved and could probably be really helpful. If you feel better guided by the tradions, don't you really need to discuss it with your parents, and they with his parents ? There will presumably be decisions needed as to how he spends what he can afford, on paying off the rest of the lobola versus maintenance for your expenses and caring for the child.
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