Our expert says:
If you are able to let go by yourself, then you are half of the way there! There may be several possible factors to your difficulty with a partner.
(1) You may need to communicate more clearly about what you like and how you want the touch/stimulation to change from moment to moment.
(2) If you are self conscious, it may be that you are 'watching' what is happening as part of either checking in with him/his responses or you might be feeling self conscious and so you are not focusing on the sensation/pleasure (the sexual response frequently falters when 'spectatoring' takes place).
(3) Even if you were able to focus on the sensations, it may be that you are nervous about what this will look like/what he will think and so you prevent yourself from giving in to the sensations.
I would suggest that you try to test these options by stimulating yourself when he is present. Don't try to hard. The more you try to will your orgasm, the more you are watching rather than going with it. If you notice you are reluctant to let go because of worries about what he might think, you might like to either explore what exactly you are afraid he might see and check out with male friends what their reaction is. You could also explore the latter with a professional if you felt more comfortable.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
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