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Question
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-04

I can' t seem to orgasm when with a guy

I don' t know what' s wrong with me, but with every guy I' ve been with, I cannot seem to orgasm. I do enjoy myself, but find it so hard to let go and just enjoy it, even though I try so hard. I can easily get myself to climax, within minutes. How do I manage to orgasm with a man?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

If you are able to let go by yourself, then you are half of the way there! There may be several possible factors to your difficulty with a partner.
(1) You may need to communicate more clearly about what you like and how you want the touch/stimulation to change from moment to moment.
(2) If you are self conscious, it may be that you are 'watching' what is happening as part of either checking in with him/his responses or you might be feeling self conscious and so you are not focusing on the sensation/pleasure (the sexual response frequently falters when 'spectatoring' takes place).
(3) Even if you were able to focus on the sensations, it may be that you are nervous about what this will look like/what he will think and so you prevent yourself from giving in to the sensations.

I would suggest that you try to test these options by stimulating yourself when he is present. Don't try to hard. The more you try to will your orgasm, the more you are watching rather than going with it. If you notice you are reluctant to let go because of worries about what he might think, you might like to either explore what exactly you are afraid he might see and check out with male friends what their reaction is. You could also explore the latter with a professional if you felt more comfortable.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-08

I have a similar problem. Was able to orgasm with my ex who broke my virginity. Now with my hubby i cant. I enjoy and love sex with my hubby, but No matter what either of us try. If he sits back and lets me do it, I orgasm. But I cant get there if he is inside me and his stimulation of my clitoris just doesnt feel right - like the way i do it.....

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