Our expert says:
Life is, intermittently at least, more disappointing than we would wish, just as it is at other times, more satisfying than we expected. I wonder whether at times we place ourselves in greater discomfort by seeing our task as Fighting, as the metaphor of fighting suggests a struggle in which you or the foe must win or lose. Instead, I find it useful, with whatever chronic condition I live with, to see my task as one more of adaptation, of coping, of handling the worst patches as they arise, and enjoying the good days as they arise. I never Win in the sense of being free of the troubles, but neither do I ever altogether lose. Like the weather, I endure the very hottest and coldest days, knowing that more temperate days will also come along if I wait for them to arive.
I understand your feeling, but nobody as messed up as you feel, could be as warmly helpful to others as you consistently are, in the forum and beyond.
Sometimes one does indeed outgrow one's psychologis. Maybe that's why I prefer short-term therapy methods, as they apply a proven and established model and method and should produce some defined results within a relatively short time. If and when other troubles turn up, one can use a somewhat different approach or coach to deal with those. I still remain to be convinced that really long-term therapy of the analytic whiffly sort ever achieves much other than a refined form of learned helplessness.
And you're right, of course,about cats. I believe we can learn a lot from them. For one thing, they accept and indeed expect help, without a scrap of guilt. And they know the value of persistence.
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