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Question
Posted by: Gorgeous | 2010/11/02

i am not sure i am over the death of my fiance

Last year march my fiance was invloved in a fatal car accident and passed away. at that time i was preganant with our second baby. it was such a devastating time for me. after a year and a few months i met someon whomi thought i could trust and it turned out i was wrong, so we broke up after 4 months. i have met someon who i have known since sunday school, we both knew each other very well, and no he has come to my rescue and understands the situation with my babies becasue he also has a four year old from a turned sour realtionship. I dont know if it me, but i sometimes get insecure and develop this anger that maybe one day i might just live him too much like my fiance and then something would happen to him and i will be alone again with the pain. although i dont ask and tell him about this, this leaves me very frustrated and we would sometimes argue over nothing. AM I BEING PARANOID OR SHOULD I GIVE THIS ANOTHER CHANCE WHOLE HEARTEDLY.....what saddens me is that he has spoken to his father about me and would like me to meet his family very soon.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The death of a loved one, especially an unexpected and tragic death, takes one a year or more to more or less get over ; let alone the additional trauma of it happening while you were pregnant. It's understandable that you would want someone else to be caring, but unwise to rush into another relationship until one is fully over the previous one.
So a 4 month-long relationship, ending unhappily, didn't help at all. Why not just be a friend with this latest guy, as you probably both need a good friend right now. And see a good local counsellor to finish working through your grief and anger.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: two-stone | 2010/11/03

I think Doc''s advice is spot on. Your friend sounds like a really nice, decent guy and I am sure he will understand. You definitely need TIME, as that is why you have all these doubts - you are still in mourning. Be open and honest with your friend. I have a feeling he will understand perfectly. Good luck

Reply to two-stone
Posted by: wistletit | 2010/11/02

that some tragice shit suger tits hope you get over it!

Reply to wistletit
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/11/02

The death of a loved one, especially an unexpected and tragic death, takes one a year or more to more or less get over ; let alone the additional trauma of it happening while you were pregnant. It's understandable that you would want someone else to be caring, but unwise to rush into another relationship until one is fully over the previous one.
So a 4 month-long relationship, ending unhappily, didn't help at all. Why not just be a friend with this latest guy, as you probably both need a good friend right now. And see a good local counsellor to finish working through your grief and anger.

Reply to cybershrink

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