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Question
Posted by: Stukkend | 2011/04/20

Huweliks ontrou

Wat doen mens na 35 jaar saam, jy is 51 en jou man 53 en dan raak hy betrokke by ''n kind van 25? Ek is so vreeslik lief vir hom, wil hom nie verloor, maar wil saam met hom oud, oud word. Sy is bekend daarvoor dat sy vir getroude - ouer mans gaan (Maar hulle was nog almal in bestuursposte) Sy gaan buitendien nie lank tevrede wees met die oom nie! Dan smyt sy hom eenkant en ons huwelik, kinders, ek alles, alles is verwoes. Hoekom doen sy dit aan my? Hoe kompeteer ek met ''n meisie van 25?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Unless he's extremely rich, one wonders what the kid of 25 is wanting from him. Maybe as you imply, she seeks older married men for her afffairs, and helps them to delude themselves that they are somehow irresistable in themselves, just at a time in their lives when they're feeling very resistable.
I suspect he is thinking of himself, and not with the intelligent parts of his brain, and not intentionally doing anything actually meant to hurt you ( though obviously, it does ). You don't compete with the irresponsible kid, and shouldn't need to.
Sounds like she has insufficient actual intelligence and skills to believe she can succed in life or business on her own actual work, and wants to sleep her way to the top. She will, as you correctly say, drop him as soon as there's nothing in it for her, and ultimately she will sleep her way back to the bottom again.
Look after your own best interests, and noever concede anything as regards your own financial and other security or that of the children. Try to persuade him that he needs to join you in marriage counselling ASAP, and to prepare himself for when she drops him, as she has presumably dropped all the other men she has climbed over.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2014/06/19

Wees bly dis n kind van 25 en nie n vrou van n ander ras nie. Ek gaan nou na n huwelik van 32jr van my man skei agv n verhouding met n kleurlingvrou by sy werk.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Romany | 2011/04/20

Om op jou ouderdommet ''n kind van 25 te kompeteer moet jy heel eerste ten minste 70% van jou verstand laat uitsny. Dan moet jy ten minste 60% van die klas en styl en ondervinding wat die lewe jou geleer het, van ontslae raak.
Nee dame, moenie jouself so verneder om met''n bogsnuiter te wil kompeteer nie, ek dan nog boonop een wat nie ''n man van haar eie kan kry nie en jou (ou) man moet vat.
Nou is die tyd dat jy met mense wat in jou klas is meng en jou self verryk deur hulle.
Jou man is besig om soos ''n commin snotkop te reageer. Ek wil my altyd doodlag as die ou mans (enigiets van 35 jaar +) dink die jong terte hou van hulle want hulle is so onverstaanbaar. Die arme goed. Ai, man... sterkte, jy sal die regte besluit maak. Soos my dogter (van amper 30 jaar oud) sê :- ou mans van 35 !!! en meer laat die kots in haar keel opkom. Selfs ryk ou mans

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Chris758 | 2011/04/20

Ai mensie ek is jammer om van die te hoor maar mans, nie almal nie, wil seker vir oulaas goed voel oor homself. Party sal net flirt maar die ander sal ''n verhouding aanknoop. Ek dink sy slaap haar pad oop boontoe en ja, sy gaan hom soos ''n warm pattat laat val. Ek self kan nie sien dat hy by haar gaan kan byhou nie.

Jy kannie kompeteer nie want sy het ongelukkig hierdie jong lyf ens. Ek gaan nou iets moeilik vra maar slaap hulle saam? Weet jy, en ek praat uit ondervinding, as jou vertroue eers gebreek is, vat dit regtig lank al kry jy psigiatriese hulp, om weer te vertrou. My vrou het ''n verhouding gehad en ek kan nie vrede met dit maak nie!!

Baie sterkte vir jou en die kinders!!!! Dis so onregverdig wat hy gedoen het teenoor jou en sy kinders!!

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/04/20

Unless he's extremely rich, one wonders what the kid of 25 is wanting from him. Maybe as you imply, she seeks older married men for her afffairs, and helps them to delude themselves that they are somehow irresistable in themselves, just at a time in their lives when they're feeling very resistable.
I suspect he is thinking of himself, and not with the intelligent parts of his brain, and not intentionally doing anything actually meant to hurt you ( though obviously, it does ). You don't compete with the irresponsible kid, and shouldn't need to.
Sounds like she has insufficient actual intelligence and skills to believe she can succed in life or business on her own actual work, and wants to sleep her way to the top. She will, as you correctly say, drop him as soon as there's nothing in it for her, and ultimately she will sleep her way back to the bottom again.
Look after your own best interests, and noever concede anything as regards your own financial and other security or that of the children. Try to persuade him that he needs to join you in marriage counselling ASAP, and to prepare himself for when she drops him, as she has presumably dropped all the other men she has climbed over.

Reply to cybershrink

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