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Question
Posted by: Maria | 2012/10/09

Husbands " helping out" 

It REALLY bugs me when people (especially women) make statements about husbands/partners HELPING OUT with housework and kids. If both spouses work full time then they should share all the work equally. That''s just fair. Why should the household and kids be the woman''s responsibility and she must be grateful for every little bit the husband does? It''s such an antiquated attitude. I wish couples would sort this out between themselves before getting married and before they have kids.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Absolutely right ! It\s a lazy p[hrase so easily used, but it implies that the chores / kids are the woman's tasks, and the guy might be so kind as to assist a little, rather than seeing these as a couple's duties, which they need to plan to share.
And I do, so, agree that these are AMONG the decisions a couple should reach, together, before getting married.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ME | 2012/10/09

Absolutely Agree....@Leila : in the times we live in, most of us ladies have to work as well as our husbands - we can''t have the luxury of " Relaxing"  and being just housewives. Well for one thing, I''d go crazy if I didn''t work - I have a good brain and I want to use it.
My husband tries to help in the house when he can but he does contribute more than I do to our living expenses than I do as he earns much more than I do, so I try not to grumble too much if he cant help me.
But men SHOULD help with the raising of the children and the chores which revolve around raising children... afterall, they helped " make"  the children so they should do their fair share of nappy changing, bottle feeding and sterilising etc. Otherwise a chore roster should be drawn up so that things are more equal and one partner does not end up working themself to the bone whilst the other chills by the pool with a beer!

Reply to ME
Posted by: Leila | 2012/10/09

Women should be the smarter ones by letting men do the earning and they should be the ones relaxing at home and doing chores at their own pace. Or else things turn topsy-turvy and then we wonder where it went wrong.

Reply to Leila
Posted by: Anon | 2012/10/09

Agree 100% I guess some have a hard time letting go of old traditional rolls. What is weird to me is how often woman try to work/study while also taking care of all the household duties and the kids all alone and then still wonder why they are not coping.

I actually had this conversation with a friend quite some time ago, when I asked why she feels that it''s solely her job to take care of housework she replied that it''s what''s expected of her and I couldn''t reason with her beyond that point..It was very tempting to just tell her to quit her job then because it''s definitely not expected of her if she chooses to live with a ''barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen'' mentality.

I just can''t understand why some people still believe that the wife should be the sole caretaker when the husband is no longer the sole provider. I guess some people consider the amount of income each spouse brings into the household, with most of the couples I know, the men earn higher salaries so the wives are expected to contribute more around house?

I guess each household will differ and each family needs to find a way to distribute responsibilities that will suite their circumstances. Agree with you that people should figure out what works for them before settling down together.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/10/09

Absolutely right ! It\s a lazy p[hrase so easily used, but it implies that the chores / kids are the woman's tasks, and the guy might be so kind as to assist a little, rather than seeing these as a couple's duties, which they need to plan to share.
And I do, so, agree that these are AMONG the decisions a couple should reach, together, before getting married.

Reply to cybershrink

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