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Question
Posted by: Zenex | 2008/06/23

husbands exwife

my husband and i had a big fight on Saturday. He says "this time you will not come between me and Mary. She is my freind" (his exwife). He knows that I hate her for the trouble she caused us years ago, so I threw my wedding rings over the wall.I can't believe he considers her a friend after all the terrible things she did. I always felt that he held a grudge against my son and I for keeping him away from his ex-wife and his first son but I cannot believe after all these years that he has indirectly admitted what i always thought.

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Our expert says:
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Are you objecting about awful things she did to him ( which presumably you heard about ) --- in which case, isn't it up to him to decide whether or not he chooses to remain upset about this ; or did she do terrible things to the pair of you, after your mariage ? Either way, you need to calmly discuuss this together, probably best with the aid of a marriage counsellor. You may or may not have had reasons to want him not to remain in contact with his ex-wife ( other than in connection with the child ), but you should surely have encouraged him to remain in contact with his son --- surely the child is the innocent party here ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lin | 2008/06/23

I'm agree with Tango. Make an appointment with a counsellor and sort it out before it breaks your marriage. People often say things in the heat of the moment that they do not mean.
He'll be able to "get over" his ex-wife, but he still has a son with her, and thus she'll always be apart of your marriage.

Reply to Lin
Posted by: Tango | 2008/06/23

It seems that he has unfinished business, unresolved feelings regarding that incident many years ago. If you two are to resolve it you either have to sit down together and pack it all out or find a good Marriage Counsellor and both commit to resolving this old, now festering issue.

Reply to Tango

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