Our expert says:
I'm sure you never expected this arrangement to be easy and free of stress. And for someone with existing anger problems, any source of stress tends to make these worse. But he has no excuse for being abusively angry and unpleasant to the children.
And your sons recent responses illustrate part of the problem that is caused by such a bad example. Your husband could surely control his temper more than he dopes, and may need to see someone for help to learn how to do that better ( it'll also otherwise make it far harder for him to get a job ). If private care isn't available or affordable right now, arrange to see someone at your neaest medical school dept of psychiary or psychology, or major state / provincial hospital.
Remind him that spanking especially of that severity could get him into severe trouble with the child welfare authorities, and anyhow is useless in improving kids behaviours. And his behaviour towards you is abusive, too.
Refusing to see someone he knows is mainly an excuse, as sessions with a shrink or counsellor are strictly confidential. And he needs to recognize that NOT getting help is not only damaging to you and the children, but will eventually come out and become publically known, and be far more damaging to his reputation than he imagines.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.