Our expert says:
It's hard to be helpful without knowing more about the Awful Secret. The "secret life" may be very relevant, and, as your mesage here is anonymous, you could tell us more about it.
OTherwise, you seem to be talking about him having Anger control problems, which could be helped by CBT counselling, IF he recognized that this is a problem, and sincerely does want to work with suh an expert in order to solve the problem. It's not your fault that he is bad-termpered, and you couldn't tranform him from a saint into a bad-tempered grouch if you tried.
If he is only home for 3 weeks at a time, but somewhere else for longer, he could get counselling there.
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