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Question
Posted by: New Image | 2008/08/19

HUSBANDS &  RAPE????

Hallo I have 2 questions regarding both my husband and my 5 year old daughter. Will post the question regarding my daughter later.

We' ve had a very bumpy relationship, with him seeking out other woman on chat rooms and sms' s like flirt. He is a REP and not at home a lot. He' s had in the past tried to commit suicide twice (before our marriage) and he has a history of depression. He has in the past made comments such as " I will kill you"  (not specifically me or our child - but someone that he' s angry with) ect.

Our sex life ... well there isn' t any except when I force myself to endure it. I was molested when I was a child, and find it difficult to " give"  myself without trust, and I don' t have that with him because he raped me about 2 years ago one night after his work' s year end function. I had to much to drink (my fault) and could not do anything to stop him. And he did not want to touch me when I was pregnant (5 years ago), he totally refused

I' ve also seeked conversation with other people but he almost " flipped"  when he found out, and I stopped. He always says that he loves me and that life will not be worth living without me. I just found out that he' s been chatting on an internet chat room again? What am I to do. I know I am in a dead end relationship and need to do something. I' m just scared that with his history, that he will try and hurt me or my child?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

For your own sexual and related problems, you need and deserive to see a good psychologist for therapy to help you get free from your past and to build a better future. He should be seeing someone to deal with his depressions and anger problems. And the pair of you probably need marriage counselling, together, as well. If he had sex with you once while you were very drunk ( voluntarily so ) and you did not and or could not tell him not to, that's probably not rape. Either invest time and effort, jointly, in trying to heal this relationship, or consult a group like POWA for advice on how to make a safer separation as well as consulting a lawyer

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: ANON | 2008/08/20

Dear ,i suggest you go for counselling,firstly for yourself so you can learn to appreciate and respect yourself...

Reply to ANON
Posted by: New Image | 2008/08/20

Dear Cybershrink

Although I was drunk, I remember very clearly that I cried and pleaded with him to stop - he did not. The next morning I could not believe what had happend, and when I confrunted him about it, he said that he wanted to and that' s that. He admited that he forced himself on me. IS THAT NOT RAPE???? Should I not be aloud the safety of trust in my marriage?

About the counselling. He refuses to acknowledge that he has anger problems, according to him he only gets angry with people who " deserves"  it, and he believes that his depression has been sorted out years ago. We have went to 2 marriage counselors. He only went the first time, and did not want to return because he had a problem with the person or the " method"  or what ever ........

Thank you, I will contact someone at FAMSA / POWA.

Reply to New Image

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