Our expert says:
His sister HASN'T found work, but one can't assume that she CAN'T find work. She should learn about contracweption, and go to the maintenance court to get an assessment of how much maintenance her bf should pay for the child, and have that enforced. If she hasn't bothered to learn any useful skills top help her find a job, she should not be too fussy, and take a lesser job than she might want, so as to earn money while learning skills to enable her to qualify for better jobs.
She will never bother to do anything to support herself and her child while your husband encourages her to do nothing, by funding this lifestyle.
Of course it is entirely reasonable for you to feel disgruntled - it'd be highly unreasonable to feel gruntled ! If other family members have jobs, they should also be able to contribute some money towards her costs, but they won't so long as your husband takes all that responsibility ffrom them ; and they should also make their aid conditional upon her doing specified things towards becoming independent. Nobody should judhe you unfavourably for not sponsoring her irresponsibility, especially not people who are not themselves bothering to become usefully involved in solving the problem.
I agree with Maria about HOW to help, in ways that minimize the risk of her spending aid intended for the child, on herself. And I agree with Liza - it's the sister who is being selfish and unreasonable, not you.
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