Our expert says:
OK, to get a proper diagnosis, and medication, he has to have seen a doctor, either a GP, or, even better, a local psychiatrist.
Interesting that he says he doesn't tell you when he's feeling bad BECAUSE you then want to help. Would he prefer that you would NOT want to help ? A more important issue to discuss would be HOW to help.
He's probably right that you are not causing wither the disorder or the episodes, but he should be gently persuaded that you need to know more about how this is affecting him, and to know what you can do that will and won't be helpful ; to recognize that while you enjoy long chats together when he's well, you need some way of knowing when he wants to suspend the chatting, and for how wrong.
And if the treatment for his depression isn't working so well now, maybe he needs to be sure to discuss this with his doc as it may need revising, and if he is being treated only by a GP, it'd be useful for him to be referred to a psychiatrist for a fresh opinion on diagnosis and treatment.
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