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Question
Posted by: Shock | 2011/03/30

Husband visit gay websites

I recently discover that my husband visit gay websites what must I make of it?....we are married for 11years. He doesn''t know that I know must I confront him? What must I do

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Discard any idea of "confronting" this has become a fashionable idea but rarely ever helps at all. Only he. maybe, can tell you what this means. And you have the problem, I suspect, that you could be accused of snooping when you discovered this, so he could try to switch any discussion to one about privacy and snooping, rather than the significance of this in terms of his sexual interests.
Remember, most people are not 100 % straight or 100 % gay, but somewhere on the spectrum between these two extremes, so its not unusual for primarily heterosexual men to have some interest in gay sex. Or it may be that he's rather more interested in gay sex, either as a mental idea, or even in practice. Don't panic, and don't be aggressive ( or he'll clam up and you'll learn much less. Tell him you found this in some accidental way, and are curious about what it might mean, and leave him room to explain.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Tag | 2011/03/30

Cybershrink I believe your advice on the posters problem was very good, covered as much as you could have and added help.

There is no such thing as a gay ass, and all those who responded are beyond pathetic.

Sexuality is basically a scale, like CS said, it is like liquid it changes and can be steered either way.

Now to you poster of problem, speak to your partner about your relationship. That''s it, just talk to him about where both of you are, is he happy and are you both still growing. It''s about you and him, you are both ONE person together.

Reply to Tag
Posted by: XXX | 2011/03/30

He must have a gay leaning as no normal hetrosexual male would do this (particularly on an ongoing basis).

Reply to XXX
Posted by: lola | 2011/03/30

could he be curious perhaps? is this very often?

Reply to lola
Posted by: The Other Woman | 2011/03/30

Girlfriend he swings both ways ... FACT!!!

Reply to The Other Woman
Posted by: Stabani | 2011/03/30

He''s gay/bisexual...no qustion about it!!!divorce his gay ass

Reply to Stabani
Posted by: Shaun | 2011/03/30

Do you guys still engage in sexual activities?

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/30

Discard any idea of "confronting" this has become a fashionable idea but rarely ever helps at all. Only he. maybe, can tell you what this means. And you have the problem, I suspect, that you could be accused of snooping when you discovered this, so he could try to switch any discussion to one about privacy and snooping, rather than the significance of this in terms of his sexual interests.
Remember, most people are not 100 % straight or 100 % gay, but somewhere on the spectrum between these two extremes, so its not unusual for primarily heterosexual men to have some interest in gay sex. Or it may be that he's rather more interested in gay sex, either as a mental idea, or even in practice. Don't panic, and don't be aggressive ( or he'll clam up and you'll learn much less. Tell him you found this in some accidental way, and are curious about what it might mean, and leave him room to explain.

Reply to cybershrink

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