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Question
Posted by: Mememe | 2012/05/28

Husband turns on me in tough times

Whenever we have a tough situation, like a child being ill, my husband turns on me and rejects me. He shoots down anything I say, and becomes downright nasty. If I for instance went to the specialist with the child and it is bad news, he won''t even listen to what I report back. This recurs everytime we have a stressful situation with the kids or family. Why does he do it?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maria, as usual, makes a lot of sense. People, maybe even especially men, who like to feell incontrol and able to handle the situation, often grow angry when faced with a situation where they don't know how to cope, and turn on whoever is at hand - not because anything is your fault, but because you're there. As this is apparently a typical reaction of his, this suggests a broader difficulty he has in coping with stress, and he should be advised, bu you and his family, to seek advice and help from a shrink to enhance his coping skills.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/29

Maria, as usual, makes a lot of sense. People, maybe even especially men, who like to feell incontrol and able to handle the situation, often grow angry when faced with a situation where they don't know how to cope, and turn on whoever is at hand - not because anything is your fault, but because you're there. As this is apparently a typical reaction of his, this suggests a broader difficulty he has in coping with stress, and he should be advised, bu you and his family, to seek advice and help from a shrink to enhance his coping skills.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Maria | 2012/05/28

Maybe he feels helpless in that situation and don''t know what to do, not that it is an excuse for such bad behaviour. I t could also be that he is just in denial because he can''t cope. Can he not go with you to the doctors? Have you tried calmly discussing this with him? Maybe write him a letter, telling him how much you need him in times of stress?

Reply to Maria

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