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Question
Posted by: Nokwanda | 2010/10/12

Husband told lies about beneficiaries

I and my husband are working for the same department and I am working for HR. the last time we were given files for auditing guess what I found, my husband has written only his 2 daughters from previous marriage as beneficiaries and his sister is this fair, what must I do, the one thing that I dont like is we have discussed this before and he was telling me lies and forgetting that I am working for HR. He told me that I am the beneficiary of everything and he has written a will all is there I even found a printed will all is not true the 3 mentioned above are beneficiaries, I have been wondering all this time why his sister does not like me I think she knows about this. what must I do. I am a very fair person i have decided that because I am married things needs to be shared equally and I have stated all in my will, what can I do I have now changed my mind I dont want to tell him he will only find out when it happens when God decides to take me. Can I nominate my sisters baby as a beneficiary. Please advice I have realised that he did not marry me because he loved me but because he wanted to use me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This does inded sound odd, and as though he has been deliberately lying to you. It's not very satisfactory for him to leave everything to sister and daughters from a previous marriage, with nighing for you, though maybe he thinks they will be needy if he goes, and that you will be well able to look after yourself - but he should have discussed this with you, and not lied about it.
You need a legal opinion, as it masy depend on the manner of your marriage, legally, but otherwise you can I think name anyone as your beneficiary. Be careful as if you die without a will, the law states who will inherit, and its likely to go to a husband before any more distant relative.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Milly | 2010/10/12

I would give him a taste of his own medicine, - nominate the people you like and exclude him from yours, isn''t it you are also working? the thing is you can''t force him to make you a beneficiary, so why should he benefit should something happen to you, while you would not, should something happen to him? Confronting him would serve him right, i would love to hear how he explains himself as a husband, shouldnt he atleast include you as the wife together with the other people he likes?

Reply to Milly
Posted by: Milly | 2010/10/12

I would give him a taste of his own medicine, - nominate the people you like and exclude him from yours, isn''t it you are also working? the thing is you can''t force him to make you a beneficiary, so why should he benefit should something happen to you, while you would not, should something happen to him? Confronting him would serve him right, i would love to hear how he explains himself as a husband, shouldnt he atleast include you as the wife together with the other people he likes?

Reply to Milly
Posted by: Nokwanda | 2010/10/12

Yes I do have a 2 year boy and am planning to have another one but since I saw this I am never sure of my status with him, I became suspicious a long time ago because this man I am telling you he does not want to give me money I mean if you a wife to someone he must give you something at least for house managing or buying grocery all he does he will tell you that the daughters needs money for this or that I have tried to tell him that this is not on but now I have decided to just look at him to continue with his bad habit

Reply to Nokwanda
Posted by: Wife | 2010/10/12

Confront him my dear, this is not on, usile uzakungezelwa ngulonondidwa lowo ungu sister wakhe. Do you have kids with him?

Reply to Wife
Posted by: Purple | 2010/10/12

Yes, that is the form I''m talking about. The pension fund trustees will use it as a guideline. It is not applied in the same way a will is.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: Nokwanda | 2010/10/12

No no you dont understand in the beneficiary form there are percentages that you allocated for your nominees as well as the will that is what i saw

Reply to Nokwanda
Posted by: Purple | 2010/10/12

Beneficiary nominations are not like wills. It just really tells the pension fund people who the relatives are.
IF he were to die while still working there, your admin department would contact the family (you) and find out who all is dependent on him - such as his daughters from his previous marriage, any children you have etc. They then make a decision about how the money is allocated.

Surely you should not have been given your own husbands file to audit? And if you were, you should have handed it in and asked that someone else do so.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/10/12

This does inded sound odd, and as though he has been deliberately lying to you. It's not very satisfactory for him to leave everything to sister and daughters from a previous marriage, with nighing for you, though maybe he thinks they will be needy if he goes, and that you will be well able to look after yourself - but he should have discussed this with you, and not lied about it.
You need a legal opinion, as it masy depend on the manner of your marriage, legally, but otherwise you can I think name anyone as your beneficiary. Be careful as if you die without a will, the law states who will inherit, and its likely to go to a husband before any more distant relative.

Reply to cybershrink

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