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Question
Posted by: shocked | 2010-10-13

husband revealed

My husband and I were reading this forum, and noticed hubbie fantasy, and he admitted to me that he would like this, he also admitted to giving a guy a bj before a long time ago, and to enjoying it. He says it was not something he ever thought of, or never ever found a guy sexy or anything like that, but would enjoy such a fantasy with me. Should I send him for councelling or something, I have heard a lot of guys are fascinated with 3x with 2 woman, but this is the first time I have ever heard of a straight man having oral sex with anoth man. Advise please expert, and not silly people.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Sexuality is on a spectrum, meaning that some are exclusively "straight" and others exclusively 'gay" and then in between lies the MAJORITY of people. Some are bisexual. I find that some people will be in comitted relationships for years (social pressure and social acceptance) before the 'get out of the closet' or admit bi-sexuality. Some just do 'funny' things when under the influence of substances. I do not know about your husband's preferences. At least he trusted you enough to discuss it with you. If you are uncomfortable about it, it is best if both of you discuss it with a professional. You can phone the SASHA helpline for the contact details of a professional – 0860 100 262. Deidre -SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Me Ma | 2010-10-20

Please man it is just a fantasy Jj to end a relationship just because of a fantasy please until he drops out of the closet which i doubt he will it will stay a fantasy operative word here is fantasy and as far as I know a fantasy is not real I am married for over 18 years I am female fantasised about having sex with a woman and that does not make me a lesbain I am just wondering what it would feel like and nothing more

Reply to Me Ma
Posted by: Man | 2010-10-15

Dear Shocked
I am very sorry, but it is impossible for a straight man to fantisize
over this. It is just not normal. I would really be worried if I were you. If not gay, he is defnitaley bi-sexual. Do you ever fantasize about giving a woman oral sex?

Reply to Man
Posted by: anon | 2010-10-15

Don''t knock it until you tried it. There are many men who have or secretly wish to experiment with another man, this does NOT make you gay.

Reply to anon
Posted by: jo | 2010-10-14

I guess some of you have never had your tastes develop and change over time?

Reply to jo
Posted by: jj | 2010-10-13

ghonestly after hearing that, i would end it!!! i could never kiss him again

Reply to jj
Posted by: Woman | 2010-10-13

The good thing about fantasy, is that the unattainability is what makes it powerful. Your husband trusted you enough to share a dark part of his soul with you. The biggest mistake you can ever make, is to make a big deal over this. The best thing you can do, is to make sure that you understand and acknowledge how much it took in trust to tell you.

Also tell him that you do not see this fantasy as happening any time soon. If you don''t want it, let him know. He has to deal with this honestly. Make sure no means no. And ask him to trust you with this and to let you know if it gets serious so the two of you can go to counselling together.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: sorry | 2010-10-13

i dont want to be nasty or rude or horrible but face it

you married a -|- sucker!

Reply to sorry
Posted by: shocked | 2010-10-13

He is definately not gay, and I was not even remotely considering the fantasy as a reality, I am concerned about such a fantasy, and need expert advise on dealing with this. I dont think I would find it very erotic having my husband sucking on my vibrator like a penis, even the thought bothers me.

Reply to shocked
Posted by: anon | 2010-10-13

Dont do the fantasy, we have not heard of the results of the last posted by anon, give him his fantasy with you and a vibrator, that way it stays between the two of you, and he can pretend while sucking on the vibrator after its been in you, this will probably be good enough, although it doesnt answer your question, I beleive in keeping the marriage bed pure

Reply to anon
Posted by: experience | 2010-10-13

I am a husband that revealed that to my wife, and her sex drive dropped, and oral sex is now out of the question, so I urge you not to get hung up on this, give him his fantasy or not, but dont let his honesty affect the way you see him. Giving oral to a guy once does not make you gay, gay people are attracted to each other, this is just something different, and he was honest to tell you his fantasy, if it disgusts you, leave it as a fantasy.

Reply to experience
Posted by: Nice Guy | 2010-10-13

He is probably Gay, and has been waiting for the perfect time to come out, ask him nicely about this. if he is gay for real unfortunately it will be the end of your marriage. you should be fine

Reply to Nice Guy
Posted by: sexologist | 2010-10-13

Sexuality is on a spectrum, meaning that some are exclusively "straight" and others exclusively 'gay" and then in between lies the MAJORITY of people. Some are bisexual. I find that some people will be in comitted relationships for years (social pressure and social acceptance) before the 'get out of the closet' or admit bi-sexuality. Some just do 'funny' things when under the influence of substances. I do not know about your husband's preferences. At least he trusted you enough to discuss it with you. If you are uncomfortable about it, it is best if both of you discuss it with a professional. You can phone the SASHA helpline for the contact details of a professional – 0860 100 262. Deidre -SASHA

Reply to sexologist

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