advertisement
Question
Posted by: Carol | 2010-01-29

Husband putting me in difficult position

Hi, my hubby recently got offered a great position at a company near my offices and where our family stays (both my mother and his mother stays nearby). The position comes with free accommodation, which is perfect because we are currently looking for a new place to stay. Now we have 3 pets, a bird, rat and kitten. Now this free accommodation sounds fantastic- it’ s in a complex right by the shops, the unit is stunning apparently but there’ s a problem…  it’ s a pet free complex. Now we’ ve had the kitten for less than a month, the bird about 2 months and the rat about 1 year. Although the opportunity is fantastic, I cannot give up my pets. From what I hear, the Body Corporate is very strict about the rules and so I doubt there is any way to keep my pets. He understands that I don’ t want to give my animals away so we don’ t know what to do. Then last night his mother (who I have a very bad relationship with) is moving in with her boyfriend and she wants hubby and I to move into her house…  and look after the 4 dogs she has otherwise they’ ll need to go to the SPCA or something. I think she’ s doing it to be spiteful- she knows I will never step foot in that house (I was treated very badly when we were living there and plus it’ s haunted) yet she knows my husband would never let “ his”  dogs go to the SPCA and risk them being put down (he loves animals with a passion). I mean there are other options- her boyfriend could move in with HER or she could rent the place out for a lesser price on condition that the tenants look after the dogs. The first option of boyfriend moving in with her is the better option- she works down the road (literally less than a 10 minute walk) and considering she doesn’ t have a car and her boyfriend is elderly and obviously won’ t be able to drive her to work and back ALL the time, it would be more ideal for her to stay at the house. Now hubby thinks the house idea is cool too- it’ s extremely close to where the unit that comes with the job is and we’ d be able to keep our pets. But I can never feel comfortable there- even when his sister phoned and ASKED me to come by and keep her company for a short while, I stayed outside. I just couldn’ t go in. I don’ t know what to dooooooooooo… … … .

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I rather wish there was a law forbidding unreasonable rules forbidding pets. In a block of flats or comples, OK, large Alsations or aggressive Rottweilers could be troublesome. But a cat ? A Rat ? A bird ? In terms of the likelihood of disturbing neighbours, it'd mmake more sense to forbid TV and music-players.
Now, I don't believe that haunted houses exist except in the sense that we allow ourselves to be haunted by bad ideas and assumptions we're reluctant to give up. If you like pets, and the one option would let you keep your pets and gain some dogs, is it really impossible to consider ? OK, you were badly treated while you were there - but now, by taking over the place, you can conquer the place and the bad memories, and make the place yours.
I'd be more concerned abouyt what would happen if his mom's latest bf quarels with her and she then decides she wants her house back.
Be cautious about creating problems by declaring " I NEVER will..." or "I could never ever... " You create rules which limit yourself.
A counsellor might help you explore the options further, and to conquer your unhelpful fears about the house. It was a nasty lady in the house who made you feel bad, not the house itself.
Its a pity the company only provides the flat in an unreasonably pet-hostile place. WOuld they let you rent the company flat out to a petless person, and spend the rent on a pet-friendly place nearby ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

10
Our users say:
Posted by: Leez | 2010-02-01

Gosh Carol, really tough one. Haunted house, shoo! Maybe give it a trial run (in the house I mean), for the sake of your babies and the poor dogs who have now become victims. You may find that it' s not all that bad. Good luck :)

Reply to Leez
Posted by: To Carol | 2010-01-31

Carol move into the house, NEVER give your kids away! You can always move after a month or 2(dont unpack all your boxes) atleast you' ll still have you pets and its unlikely that the unit will still be vacant or just wait till there are tenands in. Your hubby will see how unhappy you are he would wane move to. You ll have to find a brand new home. PS:A happy wife is a happy life, lol. Good luck!

Reply to To Carol
Posted by: Carol | 2010-01-29

Well Geeze, my pets ARE my children because I am unable to conceive but whatever- you people just carry on making your assumptions. And to Wow!- I do have other problems, don' t just assume my life is perfect and I don' t have anything better to do than deal with this dilemma. Sam, thank you for understanding.

Reply to Carol
Posted by: Geeze | 2010-01-29

Well if you believe that your human kids are like birds or cats you need to have your mind read....Mine are most certainly not.

Reply to Geeze
Posted by: Sam | 2010-01-29

Oh my, you people are awful, I just can not believe what I' m reading! I grew at with my parents tell us, that if you can simply just " give your animals away" , you can give your children away too. Your pets are your kids - would you have your kids " put down"  for a better job?

Reply to Sam
Posted by: Geeze | 2010-01-29

Geeze I couldn' t even finish this post. Very difficult decision isn' t it - Family vs cat. Good job opportunity vs bird. Ow come on people....come on.

Reply to Geeze
Posted by: Wow! | 2010-01-29

Hehhehe Mfumaneko, not to be racist but some of us real think it is a silly problem..maybe its because some people are faced with real life disasters..but goodluck with finding a solution.

Reply to Wow!
Posted by: Carol | 2010-01-29

I' m actually coloured. You' re obviously racist and not an animal lover.

Reply to Carol
Posted by: Mfumaneko | 2010-01-29

I feel like saying white people and their silly problems but that would be insensitive and rude....so Sorry -

Reply to Mfumaneko
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-01-29

I rather wish there was a law forbidding unreasonable rules forbidding pets. In a block of flats or comples, OK, large Alsations or aggressive Rottweilers could be troublesome. But a cat ? A Rat ? A bird ? In terms of the likelihood of disturbing neighbours, it'd mmake more sense to forbid TV and music-players.
Now, I don't believe that haunted houses exist except in the sense that we allow ourselves to be haunted by bad ideas and assumptions we're reluctant to give up. If you like pets, and the one option would let you keep your pets and gain some dogs, is it really impossible to consider ? OK, you were badly treated while you were there - but now, by taking over the place, you can conquer the place and the bad memories, and make the place yours.
I'd be more concerned abouyt what would happen if his mom's latest bf quarels with her and she then decides she wants her house back.
Be cautious about creating problems by declaring " I NEVER will..." or "I could never ever... " You create rules which limit yourself.
A counsellor might help you explore the options further, and to conquer your unhelpful fears about the house. It was a nasty lady in the house who made you feel bad, not the house itself.
Its a pity the company only provides the flat in an unreasonably pet-hostile place. WOuld they let you rent the company flat out to a petless person, and spend the rent on a pet-friendly place nearby ?

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement