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Question
Posted by: Louise | 2012-10-31

Husband prefers to masturbate, rather than have sex with wife

My husband is 37 years of age and if we only have sex about twice a month. We are very affectionate to each other, don''''t have kids or distractions. But if we are away on holiday, we have sex every other day. I don''''t get it. His job is not stressful, I have a good figure. I never say " no"  but still, mostly I have to initiate sex. I know he has the sex drive, or we wouldn''''t have sex so often on holiday. He prefers to masturbate, but when we do have sex, he says how great it is. Very confused...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Louise,

The only way you can clsrify your confusion is to have the conversation based on what you you have written with the person with the answer - your husband. We could come up with multiple hypothese as to what may be going on of which none may be correct or one may be but we would not know which.

Have an open and honest conversation about your confusion with him.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Matt | 2015-11-18

I'm a 70 old guy and masturbating my entire life and after I got married masturbating got better. My wife only wanted sex one way, and I thought it would be better if we did different things to spice up our life. She refused to hear about it, so I just took hold of my cock and stroked my self till I climaxed. She was shocked, disgusted and told me I was a pig. I just said OK that I wanted nothing more to do with her. I didn't want to talk or ever associate with her again now I just masturbate when ever I like and I don't care if she sees me or not. Being 70 now masturbation is more difficult, but when I can I do it .

Reply to Matt
Posted by: Melissa | 2012-11-19

Please try to see someone to get het interested in sex again divorce is ugly and nasty.

Reply to Melissa
Posted by: Joe | 2012-11-18

I am afraid I have decided to leave my wife of 12 years because she does no want sex at all and I am fed up of begging. I end up musterbating just to get relieved. I feel unloved. She does everything but sex is a big no. I am sorry to my daughter whom I will have to co parent her due to the split I am current planning.

Reply to Joe
Posted by: ben101 | 2012-11-16

eish i am so sorry. i have the same problem with my wife. i send her naughty raunchy messages but she is just stiff. i think your husband is CHEATING. i am just saying. why is his head hard core. START MASTURBATING AS WELL OR LOOK FOR A HOBBY.

Reply to ben101
Posted by: MANIKE | 2012-11-05

DO MASTURBATION USING NORMAL BODY LOXION HAVE SIDE EFFECTS,LIKE WEAK ERECTION AND EARLY EJACULATION......HELP

Reply to MANIKE
Posted by: Chris758 | 2012-11-02

How can a man be bored with a wife like you? If you do the things you mentioned it is the dreams of so many of us men!!!!

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: Louise | 2012-11-02

Thanks for the feedback all. It must be me, because I have tried all these things - the toys, the movies, the dressing up (or down), the explicit sms''s or mms''s, intiating, talking and stroking his ego, the oral sex (yes, even in the car), sex in public places, you name it. We have been together 18 years, I gues I just have to accept that he is just bored with ME I suppose. Ouch!

Reply to Louise
Posted by: XXX | 2012-10-31

That is very strange,why should he prefer to masturbate and not have sex with you.How do you know he masturbates,do you watch him !
Does he possibly have an issue with you,maybe not attracted to you for some reason.You do say that you have a good figure though.Maybe you are not " active"  enough for him whilst bonking ie don''t just lie there.
He might also have issues with PE or his erection.
Most men would LOVE to have a wife like you,just check this forum.You can try the route of dressing sexy,sending naughty sms''s etc etc but that does not really establish what the problem is.I would have a serious chat to him &  tell him you enjoy making love to HIM and would like it more often.Boost him a bit,it usually works with a man lol

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Johan | 2012-10-31

I can realte to your situation, my wife is the same as your husband. She is never in the mood for sex,.it happens maybe once every 2 or 3 months, and when it does there is no fondling, kissing, touching etc. Its whem bam thnak you mam.

Reply to Johan
Posted by: mario | 2012-10-31

well someone will have to initiate,,wat turns him on?do u guys have toy,have urll watch blue movies ,sex in the car or give him a blow job while he is driving

Reply to mario
Posted by: Louise | 2012-10-31

Hi Mario, I appreciate your comment, thanks. I suppose you are right, but I do find it so unfair that the woman has to do this to try and entice the man. I do sometimes dress for him to notice - funny how this applies only 1 way though, hey?

Reply to Louise
Posted by: mario | 2012-10-31

u need to do something to get him to grab u from the back an and have mad erotic sex,wear short dresses or very short cheeky shorts or see through clothes to get him to notice,how do u dress

Reply to mario

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