Posted by: Mishka | 2008/11/11



Today is my daughters birthday she turns 5 and my husbancd passed away tragically on the 03 Dec. 2007 in a motor vehicle accident. How does one cope because I am feeling very depressed and have to be happy for my daughters for her birthday? I have to answer questions everyday to where is daddy why did Jesus take him? Where to from here?

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Our expert says:
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There's no simple answer to your important question. A grief counsellor attached to your local hospice may be able to help you both with some direct counselling, and to help you talk more comfortably with your child.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Empathy | 2008/11/11

Hi Mishka,

Sorry to hear about your loss. I can' t imagine myself being in your shoes. It must be really difficult trying to be strong for the sake of the kids but deep down inside you are crying. Please just don' t allow depression to take over once you in it its very difficult to get out of it. Try and talk to someone you trust like a family member or friend who can give you the encouragement you need. Cry if you have to tears have a way of healing ones hurts and let out all those hurts, insecurties and hopelessness. Prayer is one sure way to get strength and comfort. I noticed you wrote that the kids ask why did Jesus take your husband. If there is one thing I know is that special people always get taken before we are ready to let go. God has blessed you with a good husband and you two had beautiful kids and that is what you should focus on. Your husband can be kept alive in your hearts and just looking at your kids be happy that his legacy will still be there for many years to come.

One day at a time is what you need to focus on, the future looks very bleak if one look way ahead but if you focus on getting through one day at a time you will survive and find the much needed strength and comfort you so much desire.

We dont always have answers to all the questions but we can remain hopeful that things will work out no matter what.

Enjoy your daughters birthday its a day of celebration, remember the day you and your husband were blessed with a little girl. The joy you both felt when you held her the first time. Focus on the good of this day and it may help to brighten up your day even though he is not here in flesh to celebrate her birthday he will be present in your hearts.

GOD bless!!

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