advertisement
Question
Posted by: joey | 2011/03/01

husband overweight

Hi Doc

I am experiencing a big problem. My hubby is very overweight. About 80 kg''s. We tried everything. I prepare all the meals for him and don''t buy th wrong stuff. He cannot stick to the diets. I get so mad we he eats the next day''s lunch then I started to shout. I tried o give all my support. he does not want to join the gym with me. I am thinking now of leaving. We don''t have any physical contact for years. He does not like to be touched. He is very happy when he eats. We are now married for 25 yrs. What do I do?
Joey

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This may be one of those situations where your determination to control him and his eating and weight is causing resistance, and leading him to stubbornly remain at his weight and sabotage your efforts. If he is content as he is, and wants to remain that way, you will not change him.
Some mariage counselling might be more productive, for both of you

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: joey | 2011/03/02

Yes, the health issue is the problem. Our son is 13 and if dad drops dead then what then. I don''t control him. He ask me every Monday to support him because he wants to loose weight and by Tuesday it is all over. It s a mission to go on a plane, to go on an outing, go to the beach or to simply play with our son. I have to do shopping for the biggest shirt number 6x in town. It is no fun.
I always ask if I was that much overweight what then. How does men feel about women more than 50 kg''s overweight?
And the sex life..where does that fit into a marriage with an obese husband???

Reply to joey
Posted by: PUrple | 2011/03/02

Sounds like he''s happy at that weight. It is his body afterall, so he gets to make the decisions about it.

Perhaps part of the problem is that he resents you putting him on diets and trying to make him lose weight.

I was overweight during high school (i was a boarder and the food was really oily so we were all overweight, even the sporty girls) and my parents went on an on and on at me about my weight. I just tuned out when they did. I left school and had control over what I ate and the weight just fell off. Someone nagging you about something and trying to change your behaviour can have the opposite effect.

You seem to feel that you aren''t getting anything from your marriage and don''t want to be in it anymore. Perhaps the two of you need to try some counselling - you can learn to ease up on the nagging and he can see that you are nagging because you care about his health.

Reply to PUrple
Posted by: LP | 2011/03/02

not neccesary to diet....just go for a brisk 30min walk everyday, within a yr he should be much lighter

Reply to LP
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/02

This may be one of those situations where your determination to control him and his eating and weight is causing resistance, and leading him to stubbornly remain at his weight and sabotage your efforts. If he is content as he is, and wants to remain that way, you will not change him.
Some mariage counselling might be more productive, for both of you

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement