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Question
Posted by: worried | 2010/10/07

husband not interested in sex - too tired

I have a problem with my husband. He starts off telling me how he wants to make love to me and kissing me and telling me how sexy i am but then he starts watching tv and falls asleep on the couch and when he comes to bed he is too tired he just falls asleep?? i also lose interest by then...what can he do to keep awake or to spice things up for us? we are a young couple.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Get rid of the TV?

It sounds like you need to discuss with him how the TV seems to take priority over you. If he is so tired all the time perhaps you need to initiate intimacy as early as possible in the evening - you can always get back up again if you are not sleepy afterwards! The fact that he is so young and so tired is of concern. Perhaps he needs a good physical check up to make sure that he doesn't have a sluggish thyroid or low testosterone levels.

Men are susceptible to stress and depression just as women are and so it is possible that he is succumbing to something like this - the problem needs to be identified and so I suggest that you start with a physical check up, try turning off the TV next, and if all else fails, see a sexual health expert.

Claire - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2010/10/07

All the best Worried - wish my wife was more like you.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: worried | 2010/10/07

Thanks Sam! i''m gonna try that!!!! :)

Reply to worried
Posted by: BIGMAMA | 2010/10/07

I DO NOT COMPLAINA ANYMORE FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS I NEVER HAD SEX, WE ARE IN OUR 40''S

Reply to BIGMAMA
Posted by: BIGMAMA | 2010/10/07

I DO NOT COMPLAINA ANYMORE FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS I NEVER HAD SEX, WE ARE IN OUR 40''S

Reply to BIGMAMA
Posted by: Anon | 2010/10/07

I hear what you are saying Worried. Not all ladies initiate. In my relationship i am always the one to initiate - so we have a similar sort of problem.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Sam | 2010/10/07

Walk into the TV room in your underwear, and say: " If you don''t come to the room now, I will be pleasing myself. You are however welcome to watch if you are too tired to do anything!" 

Trust me, he will be off the couch in no time at all!

Hope this issue gets sorted out.

Reply to Sam
Posted by: worried | 2010/10/07

ha ha ha....does any other wives out there have the same problem???

Reply to worried
Posted by: Jox | 2010/10/07

Uninstall the TV

Reply to Jox
Posted by: worried | 2010/10/07

yes he does anon. but i also want him to initate as most of us ladies do and it looses its excitement when its always you when intiates???

Reply to worried
Posted by: JJ | 2010/10/07

Go naked in lounge or while watching Tv and see what he will do

Reply to JJ
Posted by: Anon | 2010/10/07

Do you mean that he has a problem getting an maintaining an erection?

Reply to Anon
Posted by: worried | 2010/10/07

yeah that''s what i would love to do but he is too concerned about tv. does anyone else have the same problem with their husband? Maybe he is anxious about getting it up for me, not sure but he does try to avoid it as much as possible? he does have problems with this. does this make a man scared?

Reply to worried
Posted by: XXX | 2010/10/07

Stress can play a role so why not try to do " it"  earlier in the evening.If you have kids you can always slip into the bathroom/bedroom and make sure the door is locked.
You need to try and be more spontaneous so it is not only when you go to bed as you might already be tired.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Anon | 2010/10/07

Do you think his work is a bit stressfull and tiring?

Reply to Anon
Posted by: worried | 2010/10/07

we are in our early 30''s.

Reply to worried
Posted by: Anon | 2010/10/07

How old are you guys?

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Sexologist | 2010/10/07

Get rid of the TV?

It sounds like you need to discuss with him how the TV seems to take priority over you. If he is so tired all the time perhaps you need to initiate intimacy as early as possible in the evening - you can always get back up again if you are not sleepy afterwards! The fact that he is so young and so tired is of concern. Perhaps he needs a good physical check up to make sure that he doesn't have a sluggish thyroid or low testosterone levels.

Men are susceptible to stress and depression just as women are and so it is possible that he is succumbing to something like this - the problem needs to be identified and so I suggest that you start with a physical check up, try turning off the TV next, and if all else fails, see a sexual health expert.

Claire - SASHA

Reply to Sexologist

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