Our expert says:
There is a great deal of variability in libido, for men and for women and a discrepancy is quite common. Even though the assumption is that men are always ready for sex, in a world with high stress levels and acceptance of natural variation this is not always so. As long as he has no physical cause for a reduced libido, such as low testoterone, the side effect of a drug (prescription or recreational), or any other physical disorder, then it may be accounted for by psychological factors, including high stress, inhibition/embarrassment about sex, or accounted for by normal variation. In many cases this discrepancy just needs to be manage, including reducing stress levels, addressing his inhibition (if relevant) and repriorising couple time and intimacy. It is also important to think through if there are any other sexual issues (ie. if he doesn't feel that he is satisfying you, or maybe suppresses his sexual urges for fear that it will disgust you...?). Unfortunately there is nothing I know of on the market which has undergone rigorous scientific testing to increase libido. It can be very frustrating having to initiate all the time, and this could be discussed with him. If you feel this is problematic (i.e. once weekly is not enough to satisfy you), then perhaps discuss seeing a sexologist with him to how such a discrepancy could be better managed...
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