Our expert says:
Trouble is, Anger Management techniques only work with someone who recognizes that they have a real problem and sincerely want to change it. Leaving aside the debate over whether the occasional swat on the bottom is useful and harmless, ANY form of hiding of a child that leaves bruises IS CHILD ABUSE. You cannot let this go by. Maybe you could work with the kindergarten teacher who could make the complaint to child welfare, so that your husband doesn't have you to blame and take it out on.
He also, from your description, has a serious drinking problem, which will exaggerate and worsen his anger and violence. Is there a possibility of you and the child staying for a time with relatives or friends while child welfare investigates him for child abuse and the alcoholism that is out of control and fuelling this fire ?
Call, Childline, too, for advice on how best to proetect you and the child, which must be the main priority. Maybe a clash with the authorities will bring home to him both that his conduct is unacceptable, but also that he seriously needs help. He's unlikely to accept such suggestions from you alone.
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