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Question
Posted by: La | 2011-08-03

Husband masturbates in bed next to me

We''ve been married for 7 months now &  the sex is boring and unsatisfying for me. Ive spoke to him about foreplay but I dont think he likes touching me at all. He wants a baby &  he is so desperate that he even suggested we go for artificial insemination. Right now its 2 o''clock in the morning &  i was woken up by him masturbating next to me, he does this most nights &  it makes me really angry but Ive never confronted him abt it. Im really unhappy in this marriage, what should I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

please consult a sex therapist so that he can recognise intimacy, foreplay, touch, love and respect as fundamental aspects of sex.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2016-06-14

I am in the same situation, he does it standing up so I won't feel it in bed

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anony | 2011-08-08

Maybe you husband is Nigerian, because they like to do that.

Reply to Anony
Posted by: grant roth | 2011-08-05

leave him now you need to be loved i am free i will make you happy in bed and i will treat you like a person and take you out to the moveis and dinner

Reply to grant roth
Posted by: Dr Dave | 2011-08-05

Keep a wooden spoon on the floor next to your bed and the next time you catch you him masturbating you grab the spoon and wack him on the penis!!

Okay, jokes aside. Tough one. I think you need to talk to him again. Give it another shot and perhaps stroke his ego a bit by telling him how hot it makes you when you think about him performing oral sex on you.

There are so many unsatisfied woman out there and I wish I could help them all reach sexual satisfaction. But I am only one man sadly...

Dr Dave

Reply to Dr Dave
Posted by: divo | 2011-08-03

Common now people - you are just being mean. It appears there are issues in between you that you have not dealth with. You do not enjoy sex and I am sure he can tell, and possibly wishes he could make you happy but convinced himself that he can''t. So to be rejected, he rather mastubate. I like how phrase it "  in bed next to me"  I may be right in assuming you despise this act, if anything - you could also help in realiving him but offering him a hand job as he busy with himself....

That will show that you need things to improve and you are willing to work for that, as oppose to seating and insisting on him meeting your needs and servicing you. It does become a bore when it is a chore. Intimacy appears to be gone, trace it and put it back and it will put the care back.

You mention that you have talked about it. Sex is still a little bit taboo to some men believe it or not. Our egos can''t let go - and generally men wants to be told you are not sexing me right. That is where the how did you tell him becomes important.

Lookt at it this way....and you will find it to be true. the more you sex the less fight there is, everymen likes sex - straight or gay - instead of correcting him, look at your own contribution to the situation as well. And if all fails - counselling.

still you don''t mention love. hence most people advise divorce him......he batho Naa lea tseba gore lenyalo ke eng? you just don''t divorce cause you feel like it. You invest time, thinking about it so when you do it, there is no I told you so.

Reply to divo
Posted by: Whatever | 2011-08-03

Get out, have you phoned the attorney yet.

Reply to Whatever
Posted by: sp | 2011-08-03

that's strange, very strange, maybe he is into men!

Reply to sp
Posted by: me too too late | 2011-08-03

Get out now

Reply to me too too late
Posted by: sexologist | 2011-08-03

please consult a sex therapist so that he can recognise intimacy, foreplay, touch, love and respect as fundamental aspects of sex.

Reply to sexologist

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