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Question
Posted by: Unsure | 2010/04/06

Husband is a stranger to me....

I met my husband about 5 years ago. He was sweet, caring, loving and nothing like a man i had ever had. I was cautious about going into a new relationship as i had come out of a really bad abusive relationship, and i did not trust men at all, i was on my own for about a year and a half before i met my husbank. It took alot to earn my trust and break down the barriers, but my husband persevered and showd me how wonderful he was and so we married. We have been married for two years out of the 5 and around the end of last year he started behaving strangely. Long story short he was having affairs left right and ctr, he asked for a divorce but has now decided he wants to be with me. I recently met up with his ex-wife a person he portrayed as a witch but quite the opposite and she was given a picture of me by him that i was a witch and this we both found out was not so. We had a long conversation and alot of it was very bitter to swallow because i found out that how he is now is the true him, its not the man i fell in love with. I do love my husband but i am conflicted about my feelings of staying in the marriage, i cant be hurt over again and wondering when is the next time. He puts on a smile everyday and acts like nothing happened, but i am an emotional wreck, to top it all off he still denies the affairs, but i think that there has been someone that he just cant seem to get rid off, because he is still secerative with his cell. But the general day to day routine has returned back to normal. At the end of the day what do i do for myself, i feel stuck between a rock and a hard place?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

So, apart from being emotionally unreliable, he seems to take no responsiobility for his own choices and actions, and prefers to blame others. If you want to try to heal the relationship and make it workable and happy, don't try to do it on your own - do see a mariage counsellor together, and identify the issues and problems and see what you can do abou these, working togther with proper expert help. THis way you'd have the best chance of getting things right, and if that does not prove possible, you could at least part without bitterness, and having learned more about how to avoid such problems in the future

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/06

So, apart from being emotionally unreliable, he seems to take no responsiobility for his own choices and actions, and prefers to blame others. If you want to try to heal the relationship and make it workable and happy, don't try to do it on your own - do see a mariage counsellor together, and identify the issues and problems and see what you can do abou these, working togther with proper expert help. THis way you'd have the best chance of getting things right, and if that does not prove possible, you could at least part without bitterness, and having learned more about how to avoid such problems in the future

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