Posted by: Annon | 2011-09-06

Husband is a cheat and Liar - I want out but pregnant

I really don''t know where to start I found out three months ago that my husband as been in contact with an ex female colleague he has bought her movie tickets, airtime and gave a money (thousands) apparently for cellphones which never materialised had an alarm installed at her place. What man pays for another womans things if they are not an item?? They have been accused of having an affair apparently 5 years ago by her husband ,they are divorced now she lost her job as well apparently because of this. He is still denying that anything happened between the 2 of them. I''m tired of feeling like shit and I don''t trust him and I''m 110% sure that he was cheating but he and the whore says their no proof I''m married by muslim law and I can''t get a divorce until the pregnancy over. I want to move out as he won''t leave I keep on upsetting myself when I think about it. I really can''t handle it anymore!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

Dear Annon,

You sound very distraught but when reading your call for help your message is full of "apparently". Some relationships are more challenged when it comes to communicating and without communication we can loose sight of who we are. You are pregnant and possibly more emotional than usual. Before acting on assumption i would suggest you start communicating your insecurities to your husband, perhaps even seek some relationship coaching or even individual counseling.
If a divorce and leaving is the way to go for you it is important that the decision be made from firm facts that have contributed to the breakdown of your relationship as apposed to an un-managed emotional state.
You can inbox me for a referral of a lawyer who knows Muslim laws.

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Our users say:
Posted by: amy | 2011-09-07

Can you not go to your in-laws or an elder brother in-law, perhaps they could speak to him, maybe your parents can assist you with talking to your in-laws, also a religious leader from your community can be approached, it helps having elders on your side, Good Luck

Reply to amy
Posted by: Sjoe... | 2011-09-06

I don''t know the muslim law but certainly there must be a way?
Can you not see a lawyer? maybe one that knows the Muslim law? This is 2010 and this is a Democratic Country? And certianly Allah will not punish you for getting out?
I hope you get your answer on this forum. Good Luck.

Reply to Sjoe...

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