Posted by: frustrated | 2009-03-19

husband has no libido

Hi im a woman and my husban has no libido. This is because of a rugby accident he had years ago. He injured his spine and was actually paralized for a month. Now he is fine but there is some gap between his vertebra, or something, and this causes him to have just about no libido. I am 29 and have never slept with anyone but him and im really frustrated with him because he makes me feel like a freak. A woman wanting sex when i was brought up to think that men think about sex all day long and women are the ones who always have headaches. Please help, im really getting desperate now.
Thank you

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Our expert says:
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Are you 100% sure about the link between his spinal injury and libido? If this is true, what about the rest of his sexual functioning? If he is able to still get an erection / experience pleasure, then he may not need libido to still benjoy being sexual with you? He also doesn't need libido (or an erection) to be intimate, use sex toys or even perform oral sex - there just needs to be a wish/interest to do I wonder what else might be going on?

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Our users say:
Posted by: D | 2009-03-20

What would you like to be done to you if your libido was lacking, and I am not saying nothing, I mean what would you prefer a man to do to make you aroused, roles reversed then maybe you can figure something out!

I suppose lots of foreplay and so forth before sexual intercourse, I would nt suggest an affair though, try all you can and maybe once you have tried everything then you can make a decision if you want to have an affair then leave him or not!

Reply to D
Posted by: PJ | 2009-03-20

Don' t blame yourself, don' t blame the injury! I am certain the problem is elsewhere.

I know of a few young men with a lack of libido, and mostly it is due to mental problems, stress, confidence &  trust issues, etc.

Try to boost him emotionally, without wanting nookies immediately. It is a process of a gradual build-up of his self esteem, etc. Perhaps engage in heavy petting rather than full blown sex innitially. Make that emotional connection first. Only then things might start improving.

Good luck!

Reply to PJ
Posted by: frustrated | 2009-03-20

Thank you for the reply, but that is sort of my point, the fact that he has no wish or desire for sex. He just never even thinks of it. So now everytime i approch him i feel like im about to rape my own husband. I want him to want me and to want to have sex with me, so how do i get that??

Reply to frustrated
Posted by: Farah | 2009-03-20

Go with your neighbors or friends and have sex.
There is nothing wrong in this. You cant be starved of sex.
Sex is your Right.

Reply to Farah

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