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Question
Posted by: Lisam | 2008/09/19

husband doesn' t want another baby

Hi. My husband and I have been together for 13 years and married for 5. He is very committed to the relationship (ie we moved in together after 2 years of dating) and he has never strayed. However, he has commitment issues nonetheless. I had to force him to go to counselling because he wouldn' t get married. As soon as we got married he decided it was the best thing ever and now tells everyone. Then when I was ready to start a family he wasn' t. I ended up having to seek fertility treatment (he was very unsupportive through this hard time). When I got pregnant he told me he only wanted one child and I suppose I agreed to just get him on board. He is a great dad and in love with fatherhood and our son (who is now 1). My family doesn' t feel complete though and i want another baby. He says I' m never happy with what I' ve got... Can you help? I really want another baby but don' t want to damage my relationship by forcing it!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You seem to be irritated when his wishes or feelings don't match yours. Is it really terribly unreasonable for him to be really happy with the child you have, and not to want another ? Is he always wrong about such things ? Don't his wishes count for as much as yours ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mom | 2008/09/19

Also just to mention, I was the one who didnt want another baby. So I am on the other side of this fence and put my childs needs before my own.

Reply to Mom
Posted by: Mom | 2008/09/19

Sit him and down and remind him that if you are killed (heaven forbid) your son is alone in the world. Having a sibling will resolve that issue as well as being a playmate for him. It may sound cruel to say that, but my husband and I had many many many discussions over a 2nd baby and that argument (raised by his best friend, not ME) won the day.

We now have 2 babies and very happy. I am also content with my 2.

Reply to Mom
Posted by: sophia | 2008/09/19

Sounds like its your way or the highway ....

Should these things not have been discussed before you coaxed him into marriage? You make it sound like he doesnt (or cant) have a mind of his own and all he needs to do is what you want in order to be happy.

Do you not think that maybe his views on marriage and children have not changed and perhaps he is honouring the situation he is in??

Two people make a successful marraige, not one. Give the man some credit and listen to what he wants for a change.

Reply to sophia
Posted by: sl | 2008/09/19

the planet is overpopulated as it is. think with your brain, not your ovaries.

how do you know you will feel complete after two kids....maybe you will only be happy with 13?

the only solutiion is to divorce and find a guy who wants a baby.

Reply to sl

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