Our expert says:
Firstly you need to check whether he experiences 'orgasm' but just doesn't appear to ejaculate, or is it that he doesn't reach IF he doesn't experience the orgasm, he would need to identify whether this problem occurs in all circumstances (i.e. does he struggle to ejaculate when he masturbates or you masturbate him?) or just some(ie. just with you or just with penetration). The answers to these questions will direct the approach that needs to be taken. Male orgasmic difficuties could be caused by anxiety (about a range of things), difficulties 'letting go', and arousal habituated to specific stimulation (eg certain fantasies he may have relied on previously, his own specific stimulation when masturbating), or other psychological factors.
As you can see, there are many more questions... The more pressure you put on him, the more problematic this will be for him, but your wish to give him pleasure may mean that he would be willing to seek professional assessment and support for this. If the two of you do wish to seek such support, you can either identify an appropriate professional via your GP or the SASHA helpline (0860100262 - leave message and we'll call you back).
Claire - SASHA
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