Well, at least we know he won't refuse the appointment when you make it !
Maybe he feels insecure about himself, feels he HAS to do these things for other people, to buy their love, but somehow feels sure enough of the love of you and the children to assume you'll love him without him needing to earn it ? Sounds like many other people consider him a sucker, who they can borrow money from without needing to bother to pay it back.
The best bet, at least to start with, would be to insist that he see a good mariage counsellor WITH you, to focus on these issues, which he needs to realize impact negatively on you and his kids.
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