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Question
Posted by: Sannie | 2011/11/02

Husband and the prostitute

Hi
I found out and my husband confesses, he had sex with a black prostitute. (Colour is not the issue, a prostitute are a prostitute)
I am devastated.
His reason for doing that this was a fantasy to have sex with a black woman.
I went for SHIV and STD test. And have to go for the next 6 years.
There were never problems with our sex life. I never had a headache, or anything, I gave him what he wants, oral sex the lot to keep him happy.
Apparently he claims that the majority of white men had sex with a black woman. Is that true?
Trust is broking and will never be restored.
I even have to let my domestic maid leave because his fantasy temptation.
How does anyone continue to have a normal marriage after this?
And the bastard claims to be racist .

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

It is evident that the major dilemma in your relationship is that trust has been broken. I strongly suggest that you seek the professional help of a psychologist to provide a safe environment for you to explore your emotions as well as looking at the possibility of couple counseling as it seems to be inevitable if you want to restore trust in your relationship or even if you want to continue with this relationship. On the matter that he claims that the majority of white men had sex with black women – I would be interested to find the stats that claims that – I think we are dealing with perceptions and fantasies more than facts.
For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: IX | 2011/11/03

let go, what's next, he will come home wiht anothet story. He has no respect for you are your marraige. If you stay with him than you are desperate and deserve whatever comes your way. Walk away while you can.

Reply to IX
Posted by: JR | 2011/11/03

I am sorry to be so callous, I did not mean to hurt your feelings. Maybe everyone is right. Maybe I am just a bitter and twisted old lady.

But, I think going to a prostitute to live out a fantasy is utter and total bullsh!t. I know that you love him and its hard, but, he needs to understand that you are hurt.

Give him the boot - if only temporarily untill he comes begging for forgiveness, and then, you force him to go to therapy to deal with his issues. And god help him if he does it again, because if it were me, I would remove his testicles with a spoon and feed them to him.

Reply to JR
Posted by: Chris758 | 2011/11/03

Rina, speaking of first hand experience!!

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: Rina | 2011/11/03

Chris you are a wise man.

Reply to Rina
Posted by: BOER | 2011/11/03

SANNIE. TELL HIM TO TAKE THE ROAD JACK HE WILL ALWAYS GO BACK TO PROSTITUTES. ASK HIM IF HE WILL DO IT AGAIN.

Reply to BOER
Posted by: Chris758 | 2011/11/03

Sannie, I am afraid but you will never trust him again!! Once that trust has been broken itwill take years of hard work to try and repair but it will always be in your mind and you will allways remember that. In order to carry on and try to save your marraige, you will have to forgive hin unconditionaly and that my dear is where the problem starts..........

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: James | 2011/11/03

He is an idiot. I for one have never had sex with a prostitute, its definitely not a turn on for me so he shouldnt generalise. He has broken your trust and he will have to work VERY VERY hard to regain it should you stay with him.

Reply to James
Posted by: Sexologist | 2011/11/03

It is evident that the major dilemma in your relationship is that trust has been broken. I strongly suggest that you seek the professional help of a psychologist to provide a safe environment for you to explore your emotions as well as looking at the possibility of couple counseling as it seems to be inevitable if you want to restore trust in your relationship or even if you want to continue with this relationship. On the matter that he claims that the majority of white men had sex with black women – I would be interested to find the stats that claims that – I think we are dealing with perceptions and fantasies more than facts.
For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com.

Reply to Sexologist

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