advertisement
Question
Posted by: Anon | 2012/09/12

Husband and possible pregnant mistress

My husband has always cheated on me and am sure that he is cheating now. I went thru his phonr and found a text from a lady saying:( I cant believe that I''m pregnant with a married man''s child, I am afraid of what its gonna do to my mom). The messahe came inot his phone at 05:22 am. I am at work now and cannot focus. I don''t know what to do. Could this be his pregnancy. What do I do I cant seem to focus and am on the verge of crying. Pls help

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

ALWAYS cheated on you ? And yes, that's hardly the sort of message, especially at 5 am, that's likely to be faked. Maybe he's trying to advise someone pregnant by a third party ?
Hard to adjust without you knowing more certainly what you need to adjust to. But if you have been tolerating his cheating over some years, he will have expected you to accept continuing to do so.
I agree with Sandra - too many people, mainly mothers, put up with too much for fear that the children will lose something significant if they separate from an abusive or cheating partner. This isn't necessarily so. Staying with an abuser or someone who shows infidelity, isn't necessarily good for kids either, and a separation or divorce can include proper arramngements for the kids to remain in good contact with both parents. Is marriage counselling an option at all ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

29
Our users say:
Posted by: Lilian | 2013/10/04

Hello,everyone i am from USA i never ever believed in spell until i meet a man called Dr laco, who help me cast a spell that bring back my ex-lover who left me for two years before our marriage,His spells works beyond my imaginations and today i am happily married with two kids and me and my [ex-lover] now husband are very happy more than ever before,what more can i say rather than to say thank you Dr laco for been there for me,contact him today and your life will never ever remain the same his email is lacopowerfulspellcaster@yahoo.com

Reply to Lilian
Posted by: vicky | 2012/11/04

Hello i am Victory Cole ,I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how i got my ex love back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month,But when i meet a friend that introduce me to Esango Priest the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to Esango Priest about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 2 days,My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact Esango Priest at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: esangopriest@gmail.com
and get your problems solve like me..

Reply to vicky
Posted by: Lucky | 2012/09/17

Do not dispair, God is on your side. Get your facts and decide on wayforward knowing full well the consequencies of whatever decision. Think of yourself first, is this what you want? Your children shall grow with or our without a dad for their Father God will always provide for them.

Reply to Lucky
Posted by: anonymous | 2012/09/14

man will always be man ,there is nothing we can do about their behaviour .i think they were born to be cheaters. ,once a cheater always a cheater , just stay strong girl for the sake of ur kids.

Reply to anonymous
Posted by: me | 2012/09/14

Personally I think he sounds like an ignorant prick who is displaying a complete lack of respect for you and appears totally absorbed with his own ''satisfaction'' and yes I am a man and previously guilty of messing around on my wife which I will regret for the rest of my life, only when I was confronted and realised what this did to my relationship did I understand what a bastard I really was.

Reply to me
Posted by: THULI | 2012/09/14

iT SEEMS YOU ARE DEPENDING ON HIM BY KEEP ACCEPTING HIS STORIES.NOTE THAT YOURSELF GENERALLY IS FOR SEEK OF YOUR KIDS NOT HIM,ITS HARD TO LOSE A MOTHER THAN A FATHER.DO YOU THINK THAT MISTRESS WILL CARE FOR THEM WHILE YOU CARE FOR CHEATER THAT DISRESPECT YOU

Reply to THULI
Posted by: Shane | 2012/09/14

I see a lot of people just blatantly assuming your husbands guilt!

Granted, with the history you mentioned, this is certainly very possible, but don''t you think it would be wise to establish what is gong on, before deciding how to deal with it?

Maybe, just maybe this woman has turned to your husband for emotional support, knowing he has been through the whole unfaithful thing... and jst maybe, he is doing the right thing, and trying to offer her emotional support? Risky yes! But unfaithful , NO!

Ask him about it, If he explains it this way, then approach her about it...

If he IS guilty, by all means react appropriately, but PLEASE just try to get the facts before you sentence him!!

Reply to Shane
Posted by: Mia | 2012/09/14

Hi anon,

Erhm, well you should''ve replied to the mistress and pretended to be your husband. And said " well , while you were sleeping with this married man, you didn''t worry about your mom one bit, and if you can sleep with a married man, I wonder with who all you can still sleep with" . That would''ve made her explode, and all the dirty secrets would''ve come out. But I guess, your husband knows you won''t leave him cause you have put up with his cheating to many a times . And I doubt this is his first " child out of wedlocks" . Man will cheat, and confess just to see how fa they can pull your legs. And if you Still give them a chance they will afterwards always do it. Because they know already that you won''t give a flying duck.

All the best to you and the littles ones.

Reply to Mia
Posted by: Lucy | 2012/09/14

I''m feeling so sad about the situation you are in anonymous. My husband cheated on me a couple of times in the first 5 years of our marriage. I landed up in hospital because of stress and depression. When I came out of hospital, I decided I was going to take our 3 kids and leave the marriage. He realised that we were all he wanted in life and after months of couple''s therapy I decided to give hime 1 last chance. Be encouraged to do what is right for your sanity, your husband might turn around and if he doesn''t then it''s also for your benefit. Your happiness is in the choices you make.

Reply to Lucy
Posted by: A i | 2012/09/14

Cut his balls off

Reply to A i
Posted by: Today | 2012/09/14

@HEY...
You make contradictory comments... I admire you for your passion though...
You suggest the cheating husband marries the mistress and live happily ever after with both wives and all children. How do you think wife number 1 feels? At this very moment, she is NOT jumping up and down with joy because there might be an addition to her family. She is distraught, she is in pain.... If at all it pans out in the way you suggest, will she be able to fully accept the challenges that come with the new wife and child? Do you not think there wil be resentment and comparison, and more struggles in their lives? Is this not where parents start teaching their children to hate and to start bullying and building walls? Hate is taught, no person is born hating... This environment that you are advocating for, will be a breeding ground of that which you are cautioning us against... But i will give it to you, you are very passionate about your cause... But seriously, think about what what your words mean...

Reply to Today
Posted by: Roland | 2012/09/14

If the marriage wasn''t over before, it should be after you read his message. For better or for worse, does not spying/invasion of privacy.

Reply to Roland
Posted by: Today | 2012/09/14

Hi, it is a very sad situation you find yourself in. It is always easy to say leave him, but difficult to execute. However in this case you need to put you and your children first. Your husband has not respected you as a wife and the sanctity of your marriage by bringing people in your lives... you on the other hand have been an enabler by always forgiving him and giving in to more and more pain. Eventually you will lose all of you and just be putty in his and everyone else''s hands. Remember your children need stability, love, care and good morals as they grow older. Do not underesimate the intelligence of children. They might not forgive you in their adulthood because of the terrible choices you made and masked as being to their benefit...
What is your worth????

Reply to Today
Posted by: HEY | 2012/09/14

to all those that proclaim divorce, your sight is only till the tip of your nose. Rather teach children to endure and compromise and make amends. teach them to be forthright in demanding justice but not abandonment. maybe when they grow older they will be stronger and not learn to hate, the less hate we have in a family the stronger the family and society becomes stronger. the more we spew hate and the bile of dislike, the more our children learn these things and then we wonder where has society gone wrong. i believe in the old days children were more disciplined because society took care of its children. today we do not like society to help us take care of our children, we feel we can teach them everything and protect them from everything.... we are a great society, just perfect..... perfect murderers, perfect thieves, perfect bribers, perfect molesters, perfect abusers, perfect idiots

Reply to HEY
Posted by: HEY | 2012/09/14

okay, i accept i am talking nonsense. if she leaves her husband, the children are without a father. in times of need there is no man in the house. yes with todays society going just great (murder, rape, suicide, molestation, abuse of elderly people). if we are able to look after extended families, then surely we are able to live in a marriage with 2 wives. our problem is that we are all selfish, looking out for number 1. don''t give a hoot about anybody else. Yes a woman is strong can be independent, raise children on her own, see to household espenses minor or major, give herself time off, look after herself etc. , who you kidding....

Reply to HEY
Posted by: Aniesha | 2012/09/14

Hey _ This is so sad!!!
Please confirm with your husband first before you jump to comclusions.
If he is cheating:
Firstly your hubby is known to cheat &  when someone cheats they are having sex generally right &  with sex comes babies. You allowed the cheating? Am i understanding this correctly? Remember that AIDS kills &  its better for the kids to have no dad, then to be without a dad and a mum. Remember your worth, no woman should be treated this way.
Good Luck &  God bless
I wish you all the best,

Reply to Aniesha
Posted by: reader | 2012/09/14

Jerry, Jerry Jerry!

Reply to reader
Posted by: kay | 2012/09/14

1s a woman can go through her husbands phone anytime she wants to,thats what marriage is all about.2ndly
u need to confront ur man about this sms,if its true then u have all the reseans to leave him period..hope u get to the bottom of this.all the best

Reply to kay
Posted by: Me | 2012/09/14

@ Hey!! Are you freakin insane - where the hell do you come from. You must be a mistress to someone and therefore you feel its okay?
Leave the cheating bastard and move on - you are certainly not doing your kids any favours by staying with a lying, cheating bastard. You are teaching your kids that this is acceptable behaviour and it is not!!

Reply to Me
Posted by: visotor2 | 2012/09/14

HEY you talking nonses!

Reply to visotor2
Posted by: HEY | 2012/09/14

lets take an alternate view of what has happened, okay the husband had an affair, his mistress is pregnant, the wife has 2 children. Confront the husband and if his mistress is pregnant, get him to marry her and then look after both of you, in this way the children grow up in a bigger family and responsibility gets shared. Wife1 does not have to do all the cooking, both the wives can take alternate weeks. this way you have more time for your children and life is less of a stress. Yes AIDS is a factor if the husband has been sleeping around with countless woman and yes the woman is also at risk if she has been sleeping around with countless men. in the above scenario you know that the husband is confined to 2 women. the husband has to now treat both women equally and at the same time the women must not be unreasonable in their demands, thus placing a financial burden on the husband. husband needs to be equitable.

Reply to HEY
Posted by: lulu | 2012/09/14

Stop reading your husbands messages, respect his privacy.

Reply to lulu
Posted by: Unhappy | 2012/09/13

Sad ..... but I am with Sara on this, I lost trust in man,actually I hate them because of the so called parents protection to their children. They always think they protect and love but not knowing at the later stage it changes our attitude and behaviour when we grow up. Growing up in an unhappy family is more worse than growing up in an orphan home. Please think for the future of your children ..... Good luck

Reply to Unhappy
Posted by: Precious | 2012/09/13

I DONT WANNA GET MARRIED EVER...!

Reply to Precious
Posted by: Sara | 2012/09/12

My mom stayed when she and my dad did not get along and he had affairs, for our sakes...I''m 37 now and I wish she did not stay as I still suffer the consequences of them staying together. They fought, we knew what my dad did when we were older and could see the pain in both their eyes. To this day I do not trust a man and I hated my dad...unfortunately 7 years ago he died without us making peace...I hated my dad for the pain his behaviour brought into our family and I really blamed my mom for not removing us from the bad influences and situations. Do not allow your kids to suffer and to blame you when they are old enough to know what''s going on. To pretend that you are in a happy marriage for the sake of your kids will never work, kids are not stupid. Good luck with your decision, it can''t be easy, I will pray for you....

Reply to Sara
Posted by: Sandra | 2012/09/12

Many mothers suffer because of words like I DONT WANT MY CHILDREN TO SUFFER. That is bull that is crap that is nonsense get that mentality out of your mind. Do you think your kids will be happy to see you suffer in the hands of their father? Are you aware that there is AIDS in the name of I dont want my kids to suffer? If he really did make the mistress pregnant then girlfriend go get tested and leave the man alone. If he is really a good father he will make sure he do what is right for children. You are a fool to even think YOU DONT WANT YOUR KIDS TO SUFFER. I am sure Kimora Lee''s Simmonds two little daughters did suffer after her divorce hey

Reply to Sandra
Posted by: Anon | 2012/09/12

@ Sandra, We have to kids and do not want them to suffer in the process, they absolutely adore their father. I think I tolerated his behaviour this long because I wanted them to grow up with a father around. Through his previous behaviour I know that I’ m not going to get anything out of him as he will deny everything. I have the lady’ s number and called but as soon as she picked up I just cut off the line.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Sandra | 2012/09/12

Always cheated on you and you stayed. Ok now that the damage has been done confront him, ask him about the sms no matter how wrong it is to go through a cellphone but the point is you have seen the sms. Pick up the phone now and speak to your husband. If its true that the baby is his then decide on way forward. Crying wont stop what your hubby did but confronting him will give you confort.

Reply to Sandra
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/09/12

ALWAYS cheated on you ? And yes, that's hardly the sort of message, especially at 5 am, that's likely to be faked. Maybe he's trying to advise someone pregnant by a third party ?
Hard to adjust without you knowing more certainly what you need to adjust to. But if you have been tolerating his cheating over some years, he will have expected you to accept continuing to do so.
I agree with Sandra - too many people, mainly mothers, put up with too much for fear that the children will lose something significant if they separate from an abusive or cheating partner. This isn't necessarily so. Staying with an abuser or someone who shows infidelity, isn't necessarily good for kids either, and a separation or divorce can include proper arramngements for the kids to remain in good contact with both parents. Is marriage counselling an option at all ?

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement