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Question
Posted by: Ariel | 2010/08/02

Husband & mdash - not wanting another child soon & mdash  why ?

Weve been married for 7 years and have a child 2.5yrs old.
I have spoken to my husband about extending our family , but he doesnt want to right now. he plans for me to be pregnant from the end of the year ? I''ve asked him why he wants to prolong and he says hes feeling insecure in his job, but he is actually quite secure. I dont know what to think & mdash  and why he is reacting this way. I''m actually quite disappointed and feel as though hes rejecting and doesnt love me enough to want to have another baby with me . Even for starting our family in the 1st place , it was me that probed & mdash - while he would''ve been happy if we prolonged even that. I honestly feel less loved as a result f this & mdash - and really dont see his reason for prolonging.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Rather than discussing an eithr/or dichotomy, have you talked about what reasons he considers important in deciding when to have another child ? If he says he feels insecure in his job - does he really expect to feel much more secure by year's end ? What would constitute "secure" for him ? What sort of factors makes him hesitate ? And express your ideas about how you think about the decision.
Be cautious abou seeing it as a necessary sign of his love for him to agree to a pregnancy now - if there are financial insecurities, etc., it could be rather loving to want to postpone.
Avoid anything that sounds like an accusation or putting him on the spot, and talk about the factors you both want to take into account in deciding.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/02

Rather than discussing an eithr/or dichotomy, have you talked about what reasons he considers important in deciding when to have another child ? If he says he feels insecure in his job - does he really expect to feel much more secure by year's end ? What would constitute "secure" for him ? What sort of factors makes him hesitate ? And express your ideas about how you think about the decision.
Be cautious abou seeing it as a necessary sign of his love for him to agree to a pregnancy now - if there are financial insecurities, etc., it could be rather loving to want to postpone.
Avoid anything that sounds like an accusation or putting him on the spot, and talk about the factors you both want to take into account in deciding.

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